Promise Tewogbola is a Christian writer, behavioral economic researcher and author of several books. He has a master's degree in Public Health and a Ph.D. in Applied Psychology.
In his book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth”, John Maxwell maintains that curiosity is an important ingredient needed for growth. While expounding on this idea, he explains why reflection is the most powerful force that makes curiosity work,
“The third component is reflection. It does little good to see something new without taking the time to think about it. It does no good to hear something new without applying it. I’ve find that the best way to learn something new is to take time at the end of the day to ask yourself questions that prompt you to think about what you learned… Remember, experience is not the best teacher, evaluated experience is”
A lot of people are stuck in their current phase because they have not learnt the lessons attached to that circumstance. As a result, they keep on repeating the same ‘class’ year after year. Unfortunately, you cannot learn if you don’t reflect. And you cannot reflect if you’re not deliberate with making out time to do it.
That’s why you’d see the average person leading a mediocre life. They have formed a faulty hypothesis about life, and in spite of all the feedback, they do not take the time to reflect and make iterations.
If you want to grow, reflection needs to be a vital part of your life. Do this consistently and you’d be pleasantly surprised with the results.
When Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player of all time, briefly retired from the Chicago Bulls between October 1993 and March 1995, other players had the opportunity to shine brightly.
One of such players was Hakeem Olajuwon, also known as ‘The Dream’ who led his team, the Houston Rockets, to back-to-back NBA championships in 1994 and 1995.
In addition to the fact that Hakeem Olajuwon was a physical, athletic specimen (he was 7 feet tall!), he moved with such grace and speed on the court that was not common for men of his height.
As a result of the unique combination of agility, style and size, Hakeem Olajuwon was able to dominate the NBA with a particular skill which he referred to as ‘The Dream Shake’
So, how was Hakeem Olajuwon able to come up with such a devastating move that embarrassed opponents game after game? And even more, how can you use the same strategy to come up with good ideas?
The Olajuwon Dream Shake Came From Seeing Everything Connected
As I said in this post, we humans have a tendency to compartmentalize our lives. This tendency is one of the main reasons we find it difficult to come up with good ideas. Since we compartmentalize our lives, we are blind to the inevitable overlaps that invariably appear between different bodies of experience and knowledge.
Hakeem Olajuwon grew up in Lagos, Nigeria, where the predominant game was football (soccer, for my US readers). As a youngster, Olajuwon played as a goalkeeper and consequently developed the footwork and agility that made the Dream Shake easier for him to develop later as a professional basketball athlete.
“The Dream Shake was actually one of my soccer moves which I translated to basketball. It would accomplish one of three things: one, to misdirect the opponent and make him go the opposite way; two, to freeze the opponent and leave him devastated in his tracks; three, to shake off the opponent and giving him no chance to contest the shot.”
Note that at the point when Hakeem Olajuwon popularized the move, he had been professionally playing basketball for nearly 8 years. Basketball was the sport that paid his bills and made him a celebrity figure. In contrast, all the time he was playing football, he did not earn a single cent from his efforts. Yet, because Hakeem Olajuwon saw every experience in his life as connected, he was able to find associations from seemingly different sports. The Dream Shake was born and Olajuwon’s place was cemented in the annals of history.
The Olajuwon Dream Shake Came to the Expectant Mind
After harnessing his ability to see everything connected, the next thing that Olajuwon subconsciously did was to direct his expectations in the desired direction.
This is why I said in this post, your expectations determine your experiences and your reality.
Olajuwon knew he had a good idea from football that he could incorporate into basketball. And after spending time perfecting the Dream Shake, his expectations attracted the desired result.
Below is an excerpt from an interview where Hakeem Olajuwon described The Dream Shake in vivid detail. Also note his choice of words when detailing how he expects his opponents to react to his moves.
“When the point guard throws me the ball, I jump to get the ball. But this jump is the set-up for the second move, the baseline move. I call it the ‘touch landing.’ The defender is waiting for me to come down because I jumped but I’m gone before I land. Defenders say ‘Wow, he’s quick,’ but they don’t know that where I’m going is predetermined. He’s basing it on quickness, but the jump is to set him up. Before I come down, I make my move. When you jump, you turn as you land. Boom! The defender can’t react because he’s waiting for you to come down to defend you. Now, the first time when you showed that quickness, he has to react to that quickness, so you can fake baseline and go the other way with your jump hook. All this is part of the Dream Shake. The Dream Shake is you dribble and then you jump; now you don’t have a pivot foot. When I dribble I move it so when I come here, I jump. By jumping, I don’t have a pivot foot now. I dribble so now I can use either foot. I can go this way or this way. So he’s frozen, he doesn’t know which way I’m going to go. That is the shake. You put him in the mix and you jump stop and now you have choice of pivot foot. He doesn’t know where you’re gonna turn and when.”
Hakeem Olajuwon had a mental map of how he expected the move to work and yes, it worked wonders every time he implemented it. In fact, Hakeem Olajuwon’s expectation was so good that many of the high-quality opponents that had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of The Dream Shake started expecting it too.
Consider Shaquille O’Neal’s musings after being on the receiving end of The Dream Shake: “Hakeem has five moves, then four countermoves – that gives him 20 moves.“
Olajuwon’s markers shared his expectation. They knew what was coming, however, there was nothing they could do against it!
The Olajuwon Dream Shake Came From Celebrating the Mundane
Ask anybody who follows football (soccer) and you’d find out that the goalkeeper has the most boring job on his team.
For large periods of the game, the goalie is not in possession of the ball. In fact, when people are just having a kickabout for fun, it’s usually the least skillful person that ends up tending the goalposts. Either that or the fat kid!
In any case, as a goalkeeper, it is very easy to tune out of the game and lose concentration because of boredom or resentment.
Yet, for Hakeem Olajuwon, it obviously wasn’t the case. One way or the other, he found a way to enjoy the most boring part of football. He did not despise his role as the goalkeeper in his team. Rather, he focused on becoming good at the position and eventually, when the time arrived for him to develop his signature move, the hours spent in his youth honing his goalkeeping skills counted for something.
In Conclusion…
Hakeem Olajuwon was able to create a practically undefendable offensive move in basketball that is still being used till this day. He was able to achieve it by mastering three principles of creating good ideas. First, he saw all the experiences in his life as connected. Second, he had a vivid expectation of how the good idea was going to work. Finally, he found a way to thrive in mundane events.
Can you get the same results in your life too?
Yes, you too can come up with good ideas with remarkable predictability when you follow the three aforementioned principles.
From numerous studies, as well as my personal experience, I have come to discover that success leaves clues every time. That’s simply the Creator’s mode of operation. It’s a Divine setup designed to give you an unfair advantage on this side of eternity. As a result, every iota of potential that is trapped within and around you can be conjured with remarkable predictability.
No wonder, the Great Teacher said these grand words that are both powerful and sad because of how true they have consistently been since time immemorial:
“For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.”
In the short video below, I share the 7 Immutable Laws that govern the crystallization and manifestation of every potential trapped within and around you.
The 7 Immutable Laws of Potential Crystallization that I share in the video include:
The Law of Exuberance
The Law of Intangibility
The Law of Cognizance
The Law of Engagement
The Law of Shared Realms
The Law of Enunciation
The Law of Positive Feedback
At some point in the nearest future, I would expand these concepts into a short eBook. However, for now, I want you to familiarize yourself with these laws so that you can start unleashing every single drop of potential that God has dropped within and around you.
Disclaimer: I have never met John Obidi in person. Like you, all I know about him has been through the stories about himself that he shared on his personal development group on Facebook. In addition, he did not ask me to write this.
One superpower that would put you head-and-shoulders above the lot is the ability to see patterns and recognize connections that are not obvious to everyone else. While I am still developing my mastery with this superpower, I can confidently say that earning my master’s degree has played no small part in making me better at seeing patterns. For all the slack that traditional education system has received in recent times, earning a graduate degree in any field equips you with the invaluable ability to quickly go through a glut of information and separate the gold from the dross with remarkable predictability.
Interesting stuff, right? Well, here’s why I am telling you this back story.
Sometimes ago, I wrote a post titled, “The Aggregation of Marginal Gains and a 23-Year-Old Me”. In it, I shared how I foolishly quit a job that paid me ₦30,000 (less than $100) a month without any safety nets to stop my freefall towards lack. My ignorance was pretty costly, as I spent months surviving on ₦500 (less than $2) a week! Among other things, I shared some of the lessons that experience taught me about the Principle of the Aggregation of Marginal Gains. For the uninitiated, the principle simply states that if you decide to improve on a particular skill by as little as 1% every single day, you would be better than at least 90% of other people who have that skill. You can read the post here to learn more. That said, if there is anybody I think has turned the Aggregation of Marginal Gains into an art form, you do not need to look further than John Obidi!
John Obidi’s Paradigm of Success
Anytime I interact with John Obidi’s content on social media, it is easy to see how he views success. Many people think that success is one mind-blowing event that will just happen suddenly. John Obidi is not part of that group. On the contrary, he understands and appreciates the fact that success is a product of process.
Consider this quote he wrote in his post titled “Focus on Your Plate”,
“Focus on your plate and learn to combine contentment with ambition. Keep watering and tending to your garden, your harvest will come. The laws of nature cannot just stop working when it’s your turn to chop. Just keep at it.”
Do you see it?
John Obidi understands that the same way a seed you plant today will not become a tree tomorrow, success is not going to happen overnight. Anyone who tells you that is simply selling you snake oil! That’s why John Obidi implores you to keep on watering and tending to your garden.
Keep showing up every day.
Keep improving every day – gradually and consistently.
Keep doing that 1% extra that the others are ignoring and it would only be a matter of time before your consistency brings you to your place among the great men of valor.
That is how success would overtake you with all its benefits!
Unfortunately, a lot of the self-proclaimed gurus out there peddle magic pill after magic pill – promising to give their gullible followers results only process can bring. However, I do not think it is the fault of these gurus. Usually they suffer from what I like to call the “Mandela Effect Syndrome”
How John Obidi’s Destroys the Mandela Effect Syndrome
As I mentioned here, the Mandela effect is a phenomenon where people have a vivid false memory of a real-world event. It could be a historical event or something that happened in their lives. It is a problem that has plagued every human since time immemorial and sadly there would never be a cure until we leave this side of eternity.
If you stay aware, you would find out that there is a kind of ‘selective amnesia’ happens when people are finally able to break through the stranglehold of poverty and lack. When you sit these nouveau-rich people down to ask them to share the exact strategies they did to achieve their goals, they tend to misremember the events. It seems like they totally forget the sacrifices, hard work and sleepless nights that they put in to get the results they had. They forget the systems they had to learn to set up. Instead, they prefer to share platitudes and spiritual advice on how God gave them everything on a platter of gold.
Don’t get me wrong. I have a firm belief in God, as well as the spiritual realities that govern the events in the physical realm. However, there are certain practical steps that God expects us to pass on to others that may find it beneficial. Little wonder Deuteronomy 29:29 says, “The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever… . Centuries later, Paul of Tarsus would say, “And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.”
Understand: Until we learn to transfer knowledge in Africa, the continent’s development will continue to move at a snail’s pace when compared to other parts of the world.
For his part, John Obidi is very deliberate in the transfer of knowledge. He does not mince words. I think this is because he has seen both sides of the divide. He has learned how to suffer and he has learned how to enjoy abundance. As a result, John Obidi is even more determined to play his part in the liberation of the destinies of countless people. Yes, John Obidi’s faith in God is the foundation of everything he has achieved till date. However, you are not going to see him tell you that your answer is going to come if you keep on fasting every Thursday.
Consider this John Obidi quote from “NO LOOSE ENDS”,
“You just met somebody really attractive. Keep your pants on my child. Know their roots first. Ask all the questions that they consider to be beyond your years. Where is their village? Who are their friends? Who are their enemies? Who have they previously made a pact with? Have they ever made a blood covenant? What price are they paying for juvenile foolishness? For where you’re going you might be forced to choose. Them? Or Destiny? If you’re afraid to choose, still you’ve made a choice. NO LOOSE ENDS, my child. Some exes are like your shadow. They will never go away. NO LOOSE ENDS!…Discipline can be confusingly painful and sometimes saddening, but it is the only path to a life of freedom and unlimited options. You don’t know it yet, but that’s what you really want.“
Here’s another one from “Dig Deep”,
“A large part of my brand value and the demand it generates globally is attributed to what I do when the world is asleep. At this hour, there are less social media notifications, SMSs, phone calls, etc. Less demands on my attention. So I take maximum advantage of the serenity to research, study and carry out experiments on the best ways to solve tomorrow’s problems. Sometimes, I’m at it for 5 hours nonstop. To many, it’s not an attractive activity because it cannot be immediately transmuted into MONEY.”
And that’s how John Obidi crushes the Mandela Effect. He does not suffer from selective amnesia – conveniently blotting out the lessons and memories that could give you that added advantage. Rather, John Obidi chooses to bare it all. And as you guessed, his blessings are doubled even as God is happy to continue conspiring with the universe in John Obidi’s favor.
How John Obidi Keeps Showing Up for Marginal Gains
In a previous post titled, “The Commonly Overlooked Secret To Success That No One Is Talking About, I shared a story of how Emeka Nobis shut down one of his vibrant Facebook groups in order to focus his creative energies on one group. Emeka Nobis’ choice to focus gave him a marginal advantage in the thought leadership space. You see, success is predictable and it leaves clues. Naturally, since John Obidi is successful in his own right, you can bet your arms and legs that he is prudent with his focus.
Consider this quote from John Obidi’s post titled “PRESCIENCE” to see a glimpse on the mentality that powers the marginal gains he has over his peers,
“…you should learn to: [1] HEAR what isn’t said [2] SEE beyond that which is shown [3] OBSERVE the pulse of time. Heighten your powers of FOCUS, observation and perception…A distracted Nigerian is a defeated Nigerian.”
With a mentality like that your spirit man stays sensitive and your mind is constantly primed for opportunities to advance the mandate that God has placed in your heart. Not only is this the responsible way to live as an adult, it is also going to save you from unnecessary bouts of stress and burnout. And when all is said and done, the principle of the aggregation of marginal gains would work in your favor – not against you.
Take a moment, move away from the current politically motivated conversations about walls, arm yourself with childlike curiosity and just look around you.
If you look hard enough, here’s what you will be aware of: You’d realize how the sheer quantity and qualities of physical walls around us are a testament to how far we have come as humans. Name it. Churches, homes, supermarkets, schools, any kind of building – they are all identifiable by walls. Yet, in spite of how much our building styles have evolved over time, walls are not even half as strategically important as they were thousands of years ago!
Ages ago, the strength of a kingdom was largely dependent on the height, strength, and thickness of the walls that encompassed it. Walls were not handled with a laissez-faire attitude and vast amounts of effort and resources were expended in building them. This understanding was what stood out to a philosopher king’s inspired mind when he said the following golden words: Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.
Profound words!
Nowadays, walls are no longer built around kingdoms. But that does not stop them from still being a crucial aspect of the kind of buildings we erect today. And what’s more? Every single day, walls are capable of screaming wisdom at us because they are pretty much everywhere. Below are 5 lessons that walls can teach you about self-control.
1. Walls Provide Clear Boundaries
Before a wall is built, either to separate rooms…or countries, efforts are made to know the exact point where the wall would be erected. All the calculations are done way before the first brick is laid. This is necessary because walls cannot be moved around like chess pieces on the board. If you get it wrong the first time, you would have to destroy the original wall and erect another one.
How does this apply to self-control?
Economics researchers Xavier Gine, Dean Karlan, and Jonathan Zinman conducted a study to see how they could get over 2000 Philippine smokers to quit smoking. The researchers divided the smokers into two groups. Members of the first group were asked to try to quit smoking in 6 months, after which their urine would be tested for nicotine. On the other hand, members of the second group were offered commitment contracts with a bank such that they could make weekly deposits for a period of 6 months. Like the first group, after 6 months, the members of this group had to go for a urine test to check their nicotine levels. If no nicotine was found in their bodies, they got their money back and vice versa. At the end of the study, it was revealed that the smokers offered a commitment contract were nearly 40% more likely to be nicotine-free after 1 year!!!
Just as the location and dimensions of walls are chosen well in advance before a single brick is laid, the battle of self-control is never won in the heat of the temptation. Rather, victory is secured way before the ‘temperature’ starts rising. If you want to survive the onslaught of temptations, your non-negotiables must be chosen ahead of time. If you are battling with lust, set clear boundaries ahead of time on the kind of movies you would not permit yourself to see for any reason. If you have tendencies for gluttony, make a precommitment to eat only one small plate of food and then drink plenty of water afterward. A seasoned politician took a similar approach which you can read about here
2. Walls Provide Strong Defenses
In the days of old, kingdoms made use of walls as a form of defense against the attacks from enemy kingdoms, wild animals and other threats to their safety. Interestingly, walls today have similar functionalities. For instance, there are firewalls that protect the rapid spread of fires in the case of a fire emergency, consequently providing people with a little extra time to escape with their lives. Similarly, there are certain kinds of walls called shear walls that are capable of withstanding the shocks generated by earthquakes and high-speed winds. Ultimately, the point is that walls are a formidable defense against hazards.
How does this apply to self-control?
In the same way that walls provide a defense, self-control can be used to defend against stress and other factors that make one easy prey for temptations. However, the way this is done is not by consistently resisting tempting desires or by rescuing oneself from emergencies and the jaws of temptations. Researchers who have dedicated their careers to understanding self-control observed a better way. They discovered that people who have high levels of self-control devote their energies towards avoiding crises. They set-up their lives in such a way that they are able to avoid problem situations. For instance, they give themselves enough time to finish a project, that way they do not need to force themselves to stay awake all night to beat the deadline. They wake up earlier in the day, so they are able to get things done before other people start making demands on their time. Instead of using their self-control to quench fires and temptations, this group of people spend their energies on developing good habits that would eventually become walls protecting them from the emergencies of this life.
3. Walls Provide Dependable Insulation
In houses, walls are very important for temperature regulation. When the temperature outside the building is too hot, the temperature within the building is relatively cooler. Conversely too, when the temperature outside the building is cold, the temperature within the building is warmer compared to the temperature outside. Both ways, either cool or hot, walls in the house play a role in ensuring that the temperature within the building is bearable for its inhabitants.
How does this apply to self-control?
In his bestselling book, Man’s Search For Meaning, Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl described many of the unspeakable human right violations that he faced in a Nazi concentration camp. While reflecting on the reason for his survival, Frankl penned the following: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” This ability to choose your response is what I like to describe as equanimity. According to Wikipedia, equanimity is a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by an experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind. Just like the walls of a building keep the temperature within the building relatively constant, self-control enables you to keep your emotions stable regardless of what is going on around you.
4. Walls Provide Beauty Through Finishes
90% of the things that make a building more attractive is placed on the wall. Walls are plastered. Walls are painted. Walls are decorated. People do not hang clocks from the roofs of buildings. Neither do they hang pictures on the foundations of a house. Everything that makes the building more beautiful is showcased on the wall of the house.
How does this apply to self-control?
Every year, millions of people purchase tickets to either watch a football game or to attend a music concert. This happens because humans generally admire individuals who have consistently used self-control and discipline to attain mastery in their crafts. As I mentioned in a previous post (“The Matthew Principle and Why The Rich Keep Getting Richer”), success always compounds upon itself, and failure compounds on itself too. That’s why artists and athletes will keep on amassing wealth and fame as long as they stick to the self-control and discipline that brought them to the limelight in the first place. Just as walls are the carriers of the aesthetics of a building, your consistent devotion to a life of self-control and discipline will make people see the beautiful value in you. As a result, you’d start to attract people of wealth and worth who would celebrate you in the long run!
5. Walls Transmit the Weight of the House to the Foundation
In buildings, particularly in North America and Australia, walls are constructed so that they are able to transfer the weight of the building to the foundation. This is done through posts, columns, and studs.
How does this apply to self-control?
Consider Alcoholic Anonymous (AA), an international organization that has been helping alcoholics stay sober since 1935. To help alcoholics attain sobriety, the organization has a 12-step program that involves members seeking guidance and strength through prayer and meditation from God. When Stanford researchers John McKellar, Eric Stewart, and Keith Humphreys tracked more than 2000 men who attended AA meetings, they discovered that there was indeed a decrease in alcoholism strongly associated with a regular attendance of AA meetings! If you can handle it, here it is: Even though we live in a highly secularized society, the role that God plays in our lives cannot be overemphasized. Without God at the foundation of our lives, every other thing would fall apart in seconds. Little wonder Paul of Tarsus says, ‘For in him [God] we live, and move, and have our being…’ In the same way the walls transmit the weight of the building to the foundation, it takes self-control to acknowledge the fact that you are limited as a human and there is a Higher Power constantly operating behind the scenes.
In Conclusion…
Remember, Wisdom calls aloud in the street. Again she raises her voice in the open squares. This time she’s calling your attention to how walls can teach you self-control. If you stay sensitive and incline your ears, you’d have an unfair advantage in this race called life!
Just ask any toddler to give you the name of an animal and nine times out of ten, the answer would be “Lion”. In the next few paragraphs, we’d be diving into 5 characteristics of lions that can set you up for the fulfillment of your purpose and destiny.
Lions Understand the Power of Association
By nature, lions are social animals. In fact, research has shown that they are one of the most social of all the feline species. This is not a mere coincidence. One way or the other, lions have been able to discern over time that there are benefits to living together in groups. For instance, by virtue of their tendencies to hunt together, lions are able to attack their prey more efficiently. While one lion might be able to defend its territory against invaders, the effect is multiplied when there are numerous lions working together to defend their pride. This reduces the chances of lions being injured from attacks, while also reducing the chances of hunger as the lions share their prey.
How does this relate to you?
In his book, The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose, Matthew Kelly says, “The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the best version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great. We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.”
You need to understand that there is power in association. The people you spend the bulk of your time with have a powerful role in determining what you get out of life. This is one reason the rich will keep on getting richer and the poor would keep on getting poorer. Wealth brings more opportunities for creating wealth and lack attracts even more lack. This is the same reason that there are always more opportunities for the purpose-driven ones to manifest the seeds deposited within them. Your association would go a long way in determining your location on the food chain. When all is said and done, the people you continually spend time with are a pointer to the kind of person you are. Little wonder Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” By associating with each other, each friend ends up in a better position than what he would have been in if he were alone.
Lions Understand Their Role in the Grand Scheme of Things
Ecologists and biologists refer to certain kinds of animals as ‘keystone predators’. These are a special group of animals that have a powerful role in bringing about balance into their immediate environment. They do not have to be plenty in number to bring about the desired outcome. Their mere presence is a quality assurance measure in the ecosystem. Lions are able to do this by feeding on a broad range of animals such as giraffes, buffaloes, and deer that would have otherwise depleted the grasslands through overgrazing. Without the presence of lions, in a matter of years, there would be no grasses in the grasslands. This, in turn, would lead to severe disruptions in the balance of such ecosystems. This might sound oxymoronic but the very act of going on the offensive to hunt down prey is a powerful way that lions ensure that there is continuity of life in their environment.
How does this relate to you?
You have a role that God has created for you on this side of eternity. You have a role in the His continuously unfolding story of creation. Unfortunately, a lot of people are walking through life without any passion. They do not understand that they are co-authors with God in this beautiful story called life. As a result, they lead boring, unsatisfactory lives because they are not acting in ways that are congruent with their life purposes. You were placed on earth for a reason. It is your responsibility to find out what that purpose is. And when you find it, you need to go on the offensive to diligently pursue it. Lions do not fold their arms in their dens patiently waiting for the deer and buffaloes to offer themselves for the slaughter. In the same way, you should also be ready to go out of your comfort zone to pursue your purpose and fulfill your role in God’s meta-narrative. You were created for fruitfulness, multiplication, replenishment, subjugation, and dominion (Genesis 1:28). You were created to be a keystone predator in your area of purpose!
Lions Understand the Power of Selection and Decisiveness
Lions have a weakness that they have learned to use to their advantage. In comparison to their sizes, lions have small hearts. This results in lions not having much endurance and stamina, as their blood cannot be pumped towards their lungs to receive oxygen quickly enough. This could be a reason why lions spend up to 20 hours a day in a passive, resting state. By implication, this means that lions need to be very strategic when they hunt. First, they identify the single animal they want to kill. Lions do not wildly chase 5 buffaloes or 10 deer at the same time. That is not a heart-friendly approach for lions. Rather, they pick out the animal that has strayed away from its group. After that, they gradually and stealthily inch closer to the animal, usually under the cover of the tall brown grasses of the Savannah grasslands. Even the attack itself is a short burst of devastating power, usually involving the lion jumping at and choking the unfortunate animal with its powerful jaws. Within moments, all that is left of the prey is blood and bones.
How does this relate to you?
In the journey of life, you would need to realize that you cannot be good at everything. You would have areas of strengths, as well as areas of weaknesses. That is why, just like lions, you need to play more to the areas of your strengths. Lions do this by adapting their hunting style to their stamina levels. You need to do the same with your strengths. You also need to have the subconscious awareness that you do not need to approach every event in your life with the same level of energy. Some activities have to be delegated, while others need to be eliminated or automated. If you insist on doing everything on your own, you would end up burning out very quickly, just as the stupid lion that chases 500 buffaloes at once. In addition, lions have some form of decision-making system that enables them to pinpoint the animal that would soon be dinner. They realize that if they spend to much time dilly-dallying on the best animal they need to kill, they would die of hunger. Once they make a selection, they focus on that animal – and that animal alone – with devastating ruthlessness. Do the same with the opportunities that come around in your life. Be decisive and realize that your indecision is a decision!
Lions Understand the Power of Night Time
As mentioned earlier, because of their hearts, lions do not have the stamina to chase their preys all day long. Therefore, in addition to using stealth, lions are also masters of hunting at night. To be able to achieve this, they need to have powerful eyes that are able to pick out their unsuspecting prey.
How does this relate to you?
William A. Ward famously uttered these golden words: “Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing.” The truth is that the majority of the people in the world are prisoners of mediocre existences. As a result, a little more deliberate effort on your end would put you beyond the despairing claws of mediocrity – unlocking access to mindblowing power-ups for your life and destiny. Naturally, you need to have a burning vision for your desired future. Without this, all you’re doing is crossing the highway with blinders on. Once your vision is in place, you need to learn how to develop mastery over the night or at least wake up before the sun rises. While there are virtues to be found in resting your body and mind with sleep, there is also power in conquering your day before sunrise. The most obvious benefit is that you develop the capacity to increase the length of your days (Proverbs 3:1-2) such that you are able to accomplish more in 24 hours than others are able to attain in a month!
Lions Are Not Afraid to Make Themselves Heard
Lions are well known for their ability and willingness to roar. They roar during the day, and they not ashamed of roaring at night. In fact, lions are more likely to roar at night with their sounds travelling as far 8 kilometers away from their current location.
How does this relate to you?
The only reason lions roar is to announce their presence. The roar of a lion is not a mating call, neither is it a warning or defense mechanism. The roar is a self-promotional strategy. Here’s what T. Harv Eker said in his bestselling book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth: “Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.” In the name of false humility, a lot of people shrink away from telling others about their areas of expertise. Not only is this capable of rendering you broke for a long, long time, it also deprives many people the potential solution to their problems. This is not humility, but rather a classic case of selfishness and pride where you allow your low opinion of yourself to deprive others of the answer to their prayers.
In the introduction to his bestselling book, “Predictably Irrational”, psychologist Dan Ariely presents an interesting analogy for understanding the kind of job he does:
“Why experiments? Life is complex, with multiple forces simultaneously exerting their influences on us, and this complexity makes it difficult to figure out exactly how each of these forces shapes our behavior. For social scientists, experiments are like microscopes, or strobe lights. They help us slow human behavior to a frame-by-frame narration of events, isolate individual forces, examine those forces carefully and in more detail. They let us test directly and unambigously what makes us tick”
As humans, while we mentally assent to the fact that there are many forces that influence the way we act, we lead lives that suggest otherwise. For the greater part of each day, we move around wrapped up in our heads. As it were, our minds are in a constant state of fluttering mental clutter. We like to think that we are in control, that we know what we want and that we know what to do per time. However, our experiences indicate otherwise. As time progresses, we develop faulty mental models founded on errors, hearsay, traditions and myths and we wonder why we experience the same results as our progenitors.
As Dan Ariely indicates in the aforementioned quote, a powerful way to have a better understanding of your behavior is to slow down the actions that make up your behavior, and observe the building blocks that constitute those actions. This is a very interesting recommendation for improving our behaviors. Unfortunately, two problems arise from this. First of all, many of us are not social scientists. We do not have the tools (or funds) to set up elaborate experiments for tracking our actions. Secondly, how do we ‘slow down’ our behaviors? Unless we are some reality TV star, we do not spend our waking hours being followed by camera crews who relentlessly record our life stories.
So, how then can we slow down our behaviors? The answer is embedded in the habit of deliberate reflective thinking.
Reflective Thinking Can Make You President
In July 2004, then junior US Senator Barack Obama gave the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention. The title of the speech was ‘The Audacity of Hope’ and it literally transported Obama into national significance. Two years later, Obama published the book “The Audacity of Hope”, where he elaborated on the themes, ideologies and thought patterns that influenced his 2004 speech. By January 20 2009, Barack Obama sat in the Oval Office at the White House as the 44th President of the United States.
As a disclaimer, becoming the POTUS involves much more than speaking at a national convention and writing a book. However, one needs to look no further than Obama’s book, ‘The Audacity of Hope’ before appreciating the fact that the man was an ardent reflective thinker. In her review for the book, literary critic Michiko Kakutani has the following to say:
“[Barack Obama] is that rare politician who can actually write – and write movingly and genuinely about himself… [He] strives in these pages to ground his policy thinking in simple common sense… while articulating these ideas in level-headed, non-partisan prose. That, in itself, is something unusual, not only in these venomous pre-election days, but also in these increasingly polarized and polarizing times”
In December 2018, I also arrived at the same conclusion with Kakutani after reading “The Audacity of Hope”. The man had an unparalleled clarity in his thoughts that could only arise from deliberately developing the habit of consistent reflective thinking. As a good example of Obama’s depth of insight, consider some of his thoughts and ideas concerning hard work during his conversations on values and race,
“All the money in the world won’t boost student achievement if parents make no effort to instill in their children the values of hard work and delayed gratification… Any strategy to reduce intergenerational poverty has to be centered on work, not welfare – not only because work provides independence and income but also because work provides order, structure, dignity and opportunities for growth in people’s lives.”
Through reflective thinking, Obama was able to identify the factors that set him up for success as an African American in a society that was setup to sabotage African Americans. He was able to consistently freeze aspects of his past and deliberately mine for golden nuggets in the individual frames that made up his life. He did this with critical thinking and unparalleled objectivity. Through his habit of reflective thinking, Obama learned, from his past and from the annals of history, steps he could take to improve his life and that of an entire race. History would be a judge of his political career.
How Effective Reflective Thinking Is Done
The first step to reflective thinking is having a consciousness of your ability to think. The vast majority of people seem to lack the awareness of their capacity for thinking about the thoughts running through their minds. This is due to the fact that many of us lead lives with a reactive paradigm. As events unfold in our physical and social environments, we respond with actions and behaviors that we deem to be appropriate to the event. With time, we develop a reactionary habit and as a result, we are constantly in a state of overwhelm, frustration and unrest. The desirable alternative would be to take proactive measures to ensure that we are aware of our thoughts and we actually reflect on them. Little wonder the Bible strongly admonishes in 2 Corinthians 13:5a, “Examine yourselves…prove your own selves.” One powerful way to do this is by manipulating elements of your physical/social environment, such that you set yourself up for reflective thinking. The truth is that you are not going to engage in productive reflection while you are mindlessly scrolling through your social media feed. More often than not, you would need to woo the lesson from your reflection as part of the process. By engaging in the simple act of selecting a specific time and place where you would go for the sole purpose of reflective thinking, you would find yourself reaping the benefits of reflective thinking.
The next step towards reflective thinking is harnessing the power of journalling. A lot of people overlook the power of writing down their thoughts. As Julien Green famously quipped, “Thought flies and words go on foot.” Edmund Wilson went further to remark, “I think with my right hand.” The idea in the two quotes are inherently the same. The truth remains that the faintest ink is stronger than the sharpest mind. This is especially true when you consider the fact that the mind is not meant for holding thoughts, but for creating them. You can imagine how many world-transforming ideas that have been lost because of one’s failure to pen down thoughts. You can imagine how many valuable lessons have been lost to the past because they were not written down. Stephen Leacock also quipped, “Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is the simplicity itself – it is the occurring which is difficult.” The proactive way to avoid the pain of losing the lessons of reflective thought is by striving to always have a pen and notebook on your person at every moment of your waking hours. You do not need to carry encyclopedia-sized sheets of paper because you want to capture your thoughts. All you need is a small jotter or notebook that can fit into your pocket. As a result, anytime during the course of your day that reflective thoughts come to you, you are equipped with the tools to capture them.
After proactively being aware of your capacity to engage in thought, as well as equipping yourself with the tools for journalling, you need to break down your actions and behaviors in response to varying scenarios during the course of your day. Consider how you felt. Were you calm? Were you under presure? Did you think through before saying something? Also think about the motives powering the aspects of your behavior. Were you trying to deceive the other party? Did you feel inspired? Did your behaviors align with your values and ideals? With the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17) as your thermometer, you would be able to discern instances where your behavior left a lot to be desired, as well as instances where the muscles of your character were strengthened.
It is important to emphasize that this would not be easy. Especially with the fact that many of us do not proactively spend time in deliberate thought. Most times, we are either worrying about things that are out of our control, or things that are not important. However, when you proactively embrace the very idea of reflective thinking, you automatically put yourself among the top 1% of individuals who lead lives powered by the batteries of clear thoughts. These are the ones who will not be casualities of faulty mental models because they know the power in observing their past actions, attitudes and behaviors – frame by frame.
On May 17, 2006, FC Barcelona won the UEFA Champions League trophy after defeating Arsenal 2-1 in the final game of the competition. Big things were expected from this crop of Barcelona players and their system of football. Sadly, that never materialized. After two years without any major trophies, in 2008 it was crystal clear to everyone that there was a need for a system overhaul.
That system overhaul came in the form of Pep Guardiola. With a focus on aggressively retaining possession of the ball, as well as diligently applying relentless pressure on opponents in the few times they had a sniff of ball possession, Guardiola and his team went on to win 14 out of 18 major trophies over the course of four seasons. That is a whooping 77.8% success rate!!!
Yet, when Guardiola took over the reins as Barcelona’s head coach, his goal was not to win all the trophies that were available. In his book Pep Guardiola: Another Way of Winning, Guillem Balague shares what Guardiola said in his first meeting with the Barcelona squad in 2008:
“Gentlemen, good morning. You can imagine what a huge motivation it is for me to be here, to coach this team. It is the ultimate honor. Above all, I love the club. I would never make a decision that would harm or go against the club. Everything I am going to do is based on my love for FC Barcelona. We need and want order and discipline…I only ask this of you. I won’t tell you off if you misplace a pass, or miss a header that costs us a goal, as long as I know you are giving 100 percent. I could forgive you any mistake, but I won’t forgive you if you don’t give your heart and soul to Barcelona. I’m not asking results of you, just performance. I won’t accept people speculating about performance if it’s half-hearted or people aren’t giving their all. This is Barça, gentlemen, this is what is asked of us and this is what I will ask of you. You have to give your all…When we have the ball, we can’t lose it. When that happens, run and get it back. That is it, basically.“
Note how Guardiola did not mention anything about winning trophies, or even winning games. Yet, by the time he was done with his managerial career at Barcelona, he had managed to achieve phenomenal success with his team.
So, how did Guardiola attain idol status during his time at Barcelona? He simply focused on systems at the expense of goals.
The System on the Backend
Motivational speakers typically mislead thousands by urging them to follow their passions and do what they love. In addition, motivational speakers are also guilty of hammering on the need to chase goals. This is why people keep on setting new year resolutions and failing them within days. While smart goals are desirable for providing clarity and direction, depending solely on them for change is like resting your entire weight on a dry and brittle twig – not only would you fall down, you’d also get your hand pierced!
One thing that Guardiola understood was that systems were more powerful in bringing about the attainment of goals. He was not obsessed with winning trophies. Rather, he was engrossed with the kind of players that were recruited into the team, as well as the system of precise triangular single-touch passes that his players used in walking the ball into the opposition’s net. Because of the system of play he instilled into his players’ subconscious minds, FC Barcelona literally won every single trophy that was up for grabs.
Here’s is an interesting angle to consider: If, after you had developed a clear goal, you went ahead to ignore it, totally focusing your energies on building and perfecting your system, would you still attain your goals?
The answer is a resounding yes!!!
Here’s what James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, had to say in this matter:
“The goal in any sport is to finish with the best score, but it would be ridiculous to spend the whole game staring at the scoreboard. The only way to actually win is to get better each day. In the words of three-time Super Bowl winner Bill Walsh, “The score takes care of itself.” The same is true for other areas of life. If you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.”
Ironically, peddlers of false advice are often righteous practitioners of sound principles on the backend. For many motivational speakers and gurus, their goal is to become the best in their niches. However, unlike their ignorant audiences, these speakers know that merely setting goals would not bring them closer to their attainments. As a result, they devote themselves to perfecting their systems of stage mastery, oration and, persuasion. Naturally, they get the results – which sadly also leads to the dissemination of poisonous information.
The Primordial System of the Father
The Creation Story as recorded in Genesis 1 is a microcosm of everything that makes the seen world tick. When we take a closer examination, what we simply find is a story of God establishing systems that will continue to run till the end of time. Indeed, as it was revealed to William of Occam (circa 1287–1347), “It is vain to do with more what can be done with less” Everything that God did in those six days of creation was deliberate and it counted towards a specific purpose. God expended effort in establishing an efficient system that was capable of self-propagating indefinitely. No creative word was wasted.
Consider the creative system that God established to ensure the continuation of plant life on earth:
Genesis 1:11-12 says, ‘And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.’
Note how God embedded the capacity for plants to procreate indefinitely. He created plants with the ability to produce seeds, while also creating seeds the ability to produce plants. We all acknowledge that God is the Almighty, All-Powerful Creator, and there is nothing stopping Him from applying creative effort every instance that there was a need for a new plant or herb in the field. Expending creative energies to continually create plants would have been cool to see. However, it would not have been efficient. Hence, after God had clarified His goal of creating a physical world for His glory and pleasure (Colossians 1:16; Revelation 4:11), He set up a system to ensure that goal was consistently attained.
The same thing repeats itself in Genesis 1:28 after God had created mankind.
“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
God did not create another Adam and Eve one million times. Rather, He created a system that enabled Adam and Eve to reproduce offsprings in their own likeness. God created the system of sexual reproduction as an ironclad guarantee that there would always be life on the planet.
God loves order and process, and He is very systematic. This is why Genesis 2:2 could happen. “And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”
God did not rest because He was exhausted from the efforts that went into creating the heavens and earth. It wasn’t as if God was going to pass out if He had created one more thing. Rather, God rested because of the systems He had already established. There was literary nothing that God needed to create that wasn’t already created. It’s the same thing that happens when an artist has finished a great masterpiece that he had been working on. When the artist is done with the painting, there is no more work left to be done on it. So he rests from that painting job. That’s exactly the same thing that God did with His Creation process.
Leverage Systems to Rest
Man was made in God’s image and likeness. This means that we have a portion of the very essence of God’s Nature embedded in humanity. This implies that there are certain manifestations of God’s character in our persons and behaviors. We have the ability to appreciate goals because God appreciates goals. Furthermore, if God had the ability to set up systems to efficiently and effectively attain His creation goals, we also have the ability to do so.
That is why I think that the author of Hebrews writes a stern warning in Hebrews 4:1:
“Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.”
The ultimate goal is to enter into a state of rest, where you cease from your works. However, God has established fail-proof systems for every aspect of your existence on both sides of eternity. There is a system for salvation. There are also godly systems for attaining prosperity, healing and peace like clockwork. Yet, because many people are oblivious to the working of systems, they miss out on the state of rest that God has established for them.
The writer of Hebrews continues in verse 3 of the same chapter:
“For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.”
When you believe in God’s methods and systems, your learning curve becomes shortened and you enter into His “Genesis 2:2” kind of rest quickly. There is no need to expend time and effort in reinventing the wheel. God has already established systems from the foundation of the earth and you can find His unmistakable signature in Nature – only if you are able to observe and see them.
The culmination of this idea can be found in Hebrews 4:11:
“Let us labourtherefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.”
After everything is said and done, there is only one kind of labor you should expend all your efforts in doing. That work is one done in establishing systems for yourself. And when you walk in total faith in God and key yourself in the methods and systems that He has already set up, your life becomes like a six-course meal prepared specifically for you.
Ultimately, as James Clear has quipped time and time again, “You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” Today, start praying, thinking of, searching for and implementing tested systems that would dramatically improve the quality of your life.
Have you ever started a book, but found quitting very difficult to do? You discovered that the book was leading you nowhere, but you still kept slogging through it for the next four weeks because you had spent the past two weeks reading it? Your stubborn refusal to quit could be because you felt that you were going to miss something beneficial later in the book. However, even after you got to the last page, there was nothing worthwhile you could pick out from the book. A total waste of time!
People Tend To Hate Quitting
Here’s the honest truth: People do not like to quit anything they have made some form of investment in (monetary, time-wise, emotional).
This is the same reason why people continue in unhappy relationships. They feel that they have already invested so much emotionally and monetarily into the relationship, such that it does not make sense to quit the relationship, even if it is an unhealthy one. And when you are asked why you’re still in the relationship, you sheepishly reply, ‘He/She is my bad habit…’
The same phenomenon can be seen when people lead mediocre lives doing jobs that they detest. Their response when asked why?
‘But, I’ve spent so many years training to get into this position.”
“Would I just waste all that money I spent on that training?”
Well, you should.
Robert Greene shares the following paradigm-shifting thoughts on the better approach:
“In dealing with your career and its inevitable changes, you must think in the following way: You are not tied to a particular position; your loyalty is not to a career or a company. You are committed to your Life’s Task, to giving it full expression. It is up to you to find it and guide it correctly. It is not up to others to protect or help you. You are on your own. Change is inevitable, particularly in such a revolutionary moment as ours. Since you are on your own, it is up to you to foresee the changes going on right now in your profession. You must adapt your Life’s Task to these circumstances. You do not hold on to past ways of doing things, because that will ensure you will fall behind and suffer for it. You are flexible and always looking to adapt.”
This is why it is expedient for you to take personal responsibility for your life. No one is going to think for you. No human is going to direct you. No individual is going to be your constant go-to counselor. As I love saying, ““There would be a time in your life where all you’re left with is your two ears and the Holy Spirit within you”
We need to be aggressively attached to our vision, purpose, and destiny. We know that there is nothing as rewarding as doing what God has created you to do. But for many of us, that’s where it all ends. When we find ourselves in situations where our progress is stunted, our default mode is to become soft and sentimental. We become comfortable and unwilling to rock the boat. While we have the subconscious understanding that nothing is permanent, we become enamored with the status quo because we feel we have spent so much time invested in the current stage.
We know what to do, but we are unwilling to follow through with it. Why?
That’s the because of a phenomenon called sunk costs.
Sunk Costs and Quitting
According to Ohio State University professors, Hal Arkes and Catherine Blumer, the sunk cost effect“…is manifested in a greater tendency to continue an endeavor once an investment in money, effort, or time has been made. The prior investment, which is motivating the present decision to continue, does so despite the fact that it objectively should not influence the decision…the psychological justification for this maladaptive behavior is predicated on the desire not to appear wasteful.”
A classic example of the sunk cost effect is found in the curious relationship between David and Jonathan. According to the power dynamics in a kingdom, when a king dies, his heir is usually the next person to step up to the throne. Saul was the king of Israel and it was only natural for him to secure the kingdom for his son, Jonathan, by getting rid of any potential threat to the kingdom. In this case, the threat was David. However, since the kingdom of Israel was a Theocratic one, God stood as the Ultimate Kingmaker. And the Kingmaker had rejected Saul as king and selected David in his state.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting.
Saul knew that God had rejected him as king. Jonathan also knew that God had chosen David to take the place of his father as king, which by implication also meant that his own path to the throne was a foregone conclusion too. Even more baffling, 1 Samuel 23:17 records Jonathan, the Crown Prince, practically telling David that he was ready to be his second-in-command. This goes to show how sensitive Jonathan was to the choices of the Kingmaker.
Yet, by 1 Samuel 31:2 Jonathan was a dead man – killed in battle fighting for a king that had been rejected by God.
So, why did Jonathan refuse to leave Saul and join forces with David to form a formidable kingdom? While the Bible does not specify exactly what transpired, it is easy to see the sunk cost effect play out in this scenario. Obviously, it is safe to assume that familial ties played a role in Jonathan’s decision to stay put with Saul. Perhaps, though, Jonathan had spent time trying to win his father’s approval, and he felt that he could not leave his father until he got some kind of affirmation. Perhaps Jonathan had grown to develop an emotional attachment to the wealth and trappings of his father’s kingdom that he found it difficult to much of a cost to abandon that lifestyle and become like the nomadic David. Whatever the reason was not quitting his allegiance to his father, Jonathan succumbed to the sunk cost effect and lost his life for it.
Quitting Because of The Truth
So, what should be your thought processes before quitting? Since, we are going to encounter certain difficulties in the course of our life journey, it makes sense to have some kind of checklist that would make us easily decide whether we should plough on with gritted teeth, or we should pull the plug and call it quits.
Author and lecturer Jim Collins shares a discussion he had with Admiral Jim Stockdale, a US military officer who had been captured by enemy soldiers during the Vietnam War. While in prison, Stockdale survived about 20 different torturing sessions from 1965 – 1973. When Jim Collins asked about the captured soldiers who died in the Vietnamese prisons, Stockdale replied:
“Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart…This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.“
The last statement of the quote is a very important mindset to have when gauging the right time to call it quits. To be able to know when quitting should be an option, you need to have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be. A lot of people do not have an appreciation for the truth. They are not willing to tell it, even to themselves, because they do not want to associate with the uncomfortable feelings that accompany telling the truth. As Winston Churchill quipped, “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.” You need to be willing to engage in those uncomfortable conversations with yourself, and others, if applicable.
Quitting Because of Pareto
The very fact that we are humans implies that certain elements of our existence are limited. We do not have enough time and resources to do everything by ourselves. By implication, that means that there are bound to be trade-offs and opportunity costs that we have to give up in our day-to-day activities. When you spend time and resources in doing certain tasks or activities, by default, you are also ignoring some other activities. The only criteria that then determines where you expend your time and efforts are the expected outcomes of the activities, as well as the satisfaction you derive from such activities.
Vilfredo Pareto was an engineer, sociologist, and economist who came up with the mathematical formula used to demonstrate the distribution of wealth in the society. By studying the distribution of land and landowners in Italy, he found that 80% of wealth and income was produced by 20% of the population. He found this phenomenon to be applicable in almost every aspect of life. Nowadays, Vilfredo Pareto’s observations, now dubbed the Pareto Law has been used by different companies in their efforts to maximize their efficiency and profits due to the fact that they have limited time and resources.
You can use Pareto’s Law to do the same thing when trying to determine the circumstances where quitting would be the best option. For instance, since 80% of the consequences arise from 20% of the causes, you may decide to find out the top 20% of the sources that are causing 80% of the problems, stress and unhappiness that you are experiencing in your life. Once you have identified these sources by being brutally honest with yourself, then you can focus on quitting these activities while focusing your resources on the activities that bring you the best outcomes.
Quitting a business, a relationship, a book, or an activity does not mean you are a weakling. Neither does it mean that you are conceited, arrogant and full of yourself. Quitting does not render you a second-class human. Contrary to that, sometimes, quitting is a sign of responsibility and maturity. It could be a sign that you value the seed that God has deposited within you and you are willing to get rid of the thorns of distraction that would choke that seed. Sometimes, quitting could end up being a pointer to the fact that you are committed to nurturing that seed into a plant that yields its increase in its thirties, sixties, and, hundreds.
According to the words of Tim Ferriss, “Slow down and remember this: Most things make no difference. Being busy is a form of laziness – lazy thinking and indiscriminate action”
On April 24, 1945, US President Harry Truman was informed about the development of a powerful and terrible bomb developed by brilliant physicists at Alamogordo, New Mexico. Later that day, President Truman wrote the following in his diary:
Stimson told me that he wanted me to know about an immense project that was underway–a project looking to the development of a new explosive of almost unbelievable destructive power. That was all he felt free to say at the time, and his statement left me puzzled. It was the first bit of information that had come to me about the atomic bomb, but he gave me no details… The next day Jimmy Byrnes, who until shortly before had been Director of War Mobilization for President Roosevelt, came to see me, and even he told me a few details, though with great solemnity he said that we were perfecting an explosive great enough to destroy the whole world.
By August 6, 1945, a ‘very inefficient’ bomb dropped on Hiroshima instantly killing 70,000-80,000 people. In another three days, a second atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. By August 15, the Emperor of Japan – Emperor Hirohito – gave his famous Jewel Voice Broadcast, where he announced the surrender of Japan to the Allies.
While the annals of history report that the atomic bomb forced Japan to surrender, this was not the case. Yes, the atomic bomb was the most powerful bomb seen at the time. However, the real reason why the Japanese forces surrendered was that the Soviets decided to join the war. Originally, the Japanese and Soviets had an agreement of not interfering with the other country’s affairs. This meant that the Japanese forces only had to concentrate their might on containing the US. This also explains why the Japanese leaders did not surrender after Hiroshima’s bombing on August 6.
However, when the news filtered that the Soviets had broken their end of the bargain, the Japanese realized that they were fighting on two fronts – with the US and with the Soviets. The US was separated from Japan by the Pacific Ocean and it would probably take months before the US army could make inroads to overpower Japan. The Soviets, on the other hand, were only days away from overrunning Japanese-controlled territory. It made perfect sense for surrender after learning that the Soviets had joined the war.
To add even another twist to the story, there is evidence that Harry Truman did not have to approve the detonation of the atomic bombs to win the war against Japan. For instance, Adm. William D. Leahy, Truman’s chief of staff in the U.S Strategic Bombing Survey is reported to have said the following:
‘Certainly, prior to 31 December 1945, and in all probability, prior to 1 November 1945, Japan would have surrendered even if atomic bombs had not been dropped.”
Another military official, Brig. Gen. Carter Clarke said, ‘We didn’t need to do it, and we knew we didn’t need to do it, and they knew that we didn’t need to do it, we used them as an experiment for two atomic bombs.’
So, why did President Harry Truman go on to approve dropping the atomic bombs on Japan?
“Mr. President, was you popular when you was a boy?”
“Why, no, I was never popular,” the old man told the crowd of school children in the Truman Library auditorium. “The popular boys were the ones who were good at games and had big, tight fists. I was never like that. Without my glasses I was blind as a bat, and to tell the truth, I was kind of a sissy. If there was any danger of getting into a fight, I always ran. I guess that’s why I’m here today.”
From the little snippet from the biography, it is easy to say that a younger Harry Truman had a problem with his identity and the way he saw himself. A little research deeper, it is not hard to see where the seeds of this identity were sown.
In the same book, Harry Truman’s father was described as a short man who was about 1.62 meters tall. Yet, in spite of his physical limitations in terms of height, Harry Truman’s father never hesitated to handle disagreements with fisticuffs. In fact, there is a story of how the man nearly beat up a large lawyer who had accused him of lying in a courtroom.
In Harry Truman’s eyes, his dad was the definition of a manly man! And life experience upon life experience pointed to one fact: Unless Truman acted like his dad, there was no way he would possess the identity of a manly man.
The identity of the manly man started to fade away when Truman discovered that he had poor eyesight and had to wear glasses as thick as Coke bottles. Two years later, at the age of 10, Truman contracted diphtheria which lingered for months and left parts of his body paralyzed. This continued to eat at Truman’s identity, as well as his ability to meet the standards of manliness set by his father long after he had recovered from his illness.
For the rest of his life, Harry Truman would continue to make decisions that he could use to prove to himself that he was a manly man in his own right. Perhaps, it was this need to meet up with the identity of toughness that made Truman opt for dropping the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki when they provided little to no strategic advantage in a war that was approaching its eventual end.
Identity Precedes Character
Harry Truman made himself believe that a masculine man is the one who is not afraid of selecting the toughest option whenever he is presented with a series of choices. Based on the identity that was on Truman’s mind, he was always going to be motivated to take the action that validated the identity he had on his mind. And this identity was one of a tough masculine man that his father would have been proud of. This same identity condemned approximately 200,000 people to an agonizing and tactically unnecessary death.
“As President of the United States, I had the fateful responsibility of deciding whether or not to use this weapon for the first time. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But the President cannot duck hard problems—he cannot pass the buck. I made the decision after discussions with the ablest men in our Government, and after long and prayerful consideration. I decided that the bomb should be used in order to end the war quickly and save countless lives—Japanese as well as American.”
People act and make sense of the world based on the identity on their minds. This is why Paul’s advice to the believers at Galatia makes a whole lot of sense.
“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh”
Note that the scripture did not say, ‘Do not fulfill the lust of the flesh, so that you may be able to walk in the Spirit’. No! Paul said, ‘Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.’
There is a reason why a lot of us are still battling with unhealthy habits. Unlike Harry Truman who found a way to embrace the identity of a tough masculine man, we seem to be totally oblivious of our true identities. And for those of us who are aware, we are usually unwilling to embrace the identity of who we are in the Spirit. We fail to walk in the consciousness of who we are in the Spirit. As a result, we keep on struggling to walk in victory over sin and the unhealthy habits that we battle with daily.
As you may have found out in your life’s experiences, it is impossible to consistently act in a way that is not consistent with the identity you have in your mind at the moment.
You cannot overcome a negative behavior by being consumed with thoughts of how to avoid negative behaviors! As unconventional as it may sound, it is the gospel truth: If you want to consistently walk in the victory over sin and unhealthy habits, do not think about sin! Do not think about unhealthy habits!
Rather, by being identity conscious, you automatically overpower the sin issue. By focusing on possessing a healthy identity, you would find healthy habits being set up in your life accordingly.
How To Change Your Identity And Set Yourself Up For Success
Before you can understand how to change your identity to set yourself up for success, you need to understand 3 foundational basics concerning identity.
First, you have multiple identities. A man can be a father, a son, a husband, an employer, a pastor, a spirit man and many more. The man possesses all these identities at the same time.
Second, your identity is not stable. Even though it appears to be stable, your perception of who you are, changes from time to time, based on the immediate context that you find yourself in. The same man that is an aggressive taskmaster as an employee at work becomes harmless, soft and emotional when playing with his newborn baby at home. It’s all in the context.
Thirdly, while identity is never stable because you have multiple identities at the same time, your desire to use your identity to make meaning of your life is always constant. This is why you would never act in a manner that is not consistent with your identity. If an action does not make sense to the identity that is on your mind at the moment, you would not follow through with it.
With that said, how can you change your identity to set yourself up for victory over sin and destructive habits?
The first step is to develop clarity about the new identity you desire to manifest. For instance, as a believer, my identity is that I am born of the Spirit. As a result, I am a spirit too. What are my characteristics as one born of the Spirit? According to the Bible, it means that I am righteous, holy, and wise. You may decide that you want to be a serial, best-selling author. What are the characteristics of best-selling authors? Well, for one, they make time to write in the mornings and/or evenings every day!
Once you have clarity about the identity you wish you manifest in your life, you need to find a way to make that identity stay stable in your mind. The way this is done is through constant consciousness. And here is the part where a lot of us fall short. You cannot merely wish, woo or command the consciousness of a particular identity to jump on you. The truth is that people are sensitive to what their immediate context imply for their identities. That is why stability in identity only comes from repeatedly experiencing contexts that overall feel the same over time. In the example of Harry Truman, he consistently exposed his identity of trying to be a manly man in different contexts leading up to his time at the US presidency and beyond. As a believer, this is referred to as ‘renewing of your mind’ where you consistently expose your mind to as many different contexts for the new identity you seek to manifest. For instance, being wise in my spiritual identity might mean resisting the devil in one context, while also meaning fleeing fornication in another context. The same thing is applicable in the example of the person who wants to be a best-selling author. By choosing to write every morning, you’re showing that you’re consistent and disciplined, which might also mean that you work out every evening in one context, while also meaning that you would not check your mails until 12 noon.
Finally, you need to have an interpretation and plan for the difficulties that you would inevitably encounter. Learn to reframe difficulties as important milestones you need to pass to reinforce your identity. For instance, as a believer, trials and temptations are bound to arise. However, when I rename these temptations or trials as pathways to growth, I am more likely going to keep my mind on the identity of being born of the spirit. Similarly, for the person that wants to write a best-selling book, a time would come when it would become a bit difficult to stay consistent and disciplined. The individual that interprets these difficulties as a necessary path to greatness would ride over the waves of challenges and would arrive at his expected destination in the long run.
When you operate from an identity paradigm, the difficulties you experience become the path you need to take to arrive at the better you that desire. The truth is that while your identity influences your actions, your actions also have an effect on your identity. When you act in a way that aligns with your desired identity, you reinforce that identity; and when you act in a way that does not align with your identity, you’re dismissing the importance of that identity you desire.
