How Good Ideas Are Effortlessly Created: The Olajuwon Dream Shake

When Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player of all time, briefly retired from the Chicago Bulls between October 1993 and March 1995, other players had the opportunity to shine brightly.

One of such players was Hakeem Olajuwon, also known as ‘The Dream’ who led his team, the Houston Rockets, to back-to-back NBA championships in 1994 and 1995.

In addition to the fact that Hakeem Olajuwon was a physical, athletic specimen (he was 7 feet tall!), he moved with such grace and speed on the court that was not common for men of his height.

As a result of the unique combination of agility, style and size, Hakeem Olajuwon was able to dominate the NBA with a particular skill which he referred to as ‘The Dream Shake’

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So, how was Hakeem Olajuwon able to come up with such a devastating move that embarrassed opponents game after game? And even more, how can you use the same strategy to come up with good ideas?

The Olajuwon Dream Shake Came From Seeing Everything Connected

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As I said in this post, we humans have a tendency to compartmentalize our lives. This tendency is one of the main reasons we find it difficult to come up with good ideas. Since we compartmentalize our lives, we are blind to the inevitable overlaps that invariably appear between different bodies of experience and knowledge.

Hakeem Olajuwon grew up in Lagos, Nigeria, where the predominant game was football (soccer, for my US readers). As a youngster, Olajuwon played as a goalkeeper and consequently developed the footwork and agility that made the Dream Shake easier for him to develop later as a professional basketball athlete.

Hear him explain in his own words:

The Dream Shake was actually one of my soccer moves which I translated to basketball. It would accomplish one of three things: one, to misdirect the opponent and make him go the opposite way; two, to freeze the opponent and leave him devastated in his tracks; three, to shake off the opponent and giving him no chance to contest the shot.”

Note that at the point when Hakeem Olajuwon popularized the move, he had been professionally playing basketball for nearly 8 years. Basketball was the sport that paid his bills and made him a celebrity figure. In contrast, all the time he was playing football, he did not earn a single cent from his efforts. Yet, because Hakeem Olajuwon saw every experience in his life as connected, he was able to find associations from seemingly different sports. The Dream Shake was born and Olajuwon’s place was cemented in the annals of history.

The Olajuwon Dream Shake Came to the Expectant Mind

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After harnessing his ability to see everything connected, the next thing that Olajuwon subconsciously did was to direct his expectations in the desired direction.

This is why I said in this post, your expectations determine your experiences and your reality.

Olajuwon knew he had a good idea from football that he could incorporate into basketball. And after spending time perfecting the Dream Shake, his expectations attracted the desired result.

Below is an excerpt from an interview where Hakeem Olajuwon described The Dream Shake in vivid detail. Also note his choice of words when detailing how he expects his opponents to react to his moves.

“When the point guard throws me the ball, I jump to get the ball. But this jump is the set-up for the second move, the baseline move. I call it the ‘touch landing.’ The defender is waiting for me to come down because I jumped but I’m gone before I land. Defenders say ‘Wow, he’s quick,’ but they don’t know that where I’m going is predetermined. He’s basing it on quickness, but the jump is to set him up. Before I come down, I make my move. When you jump, you turn as you land. Boom! The defender can’t react because he’s waiting for you to come down to defend you. Now, the first time when you showed that quickness, he has to react to that quickness, so you can fake baseline and go the other way with your jump hook. All this is part of the Dream Shake. The Dream Shake is you dribble and then you jump; now you don’t have a pivot foot. When I dribble I move it so when I come here, I jump. By jumping, I don’t have a pivot foot now. I dribble so now I can use either foot. I can go this way or this way. So he’s frozen, he doesn’t know which way I’m going to go. That is the shake. You put him in the mix and you jump stop and now you have choice of pivot foot. He doesn’t know where you’re gonna turn and when.”

Hakeem Olajuwon had a mental map of how he expected the move to work and yes, it worked wonders every time he implemented it. In fact, Hakeem Olajuwon’s expectation was so good that many of the high-quality opponents that had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of The Dream Shake started expecting it too.

Consider Shaquille O’Neal’s musings after being on the receiving end of The Dream Shake: “Hakeem has five moves, then four countermoves – that gives him 20 moves.

Olajuwon’s markers shared his expectation. They knew what was coming, however, there was nothing they could do against it!

The Olajuwon Dream Shake Came From Celebrating the Mundane

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Ask anybody who follows football (soccer) and you’d find out that the goalkeeper has the most boring job on his team.

For large periods of the game, the goalie is not in possession of the ball. In fact, when people are just having a kickabout for fun, it’s usually the least skillful person that ends up tending the goalposts. Either that or the fat kid!

In any case, as a goalkeeper, it is very easy to tune out of the game and lose concentration because of boredom or resentment.

Yet, for Hakeem Olajuwon, it obviously wasn’t the case. One way or the other, he found a way to enjoy the most boring part of football. He did not despise his role as the goalkeeper in his team. Rather, he focused on becoming good at the position and eventually, when the time arrived for him to develop his signature move, the hours spent in his youth honing his goalkeeping skills counted for something.

In Conclusion…

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Hakeem Olajuwon was able to create a practically undefendable offensive move in basketball that is still being used till this day. He was able to achieve it by mastering three principles of creating good ideas. First, he saw all the experiences in his life as connected. Second, he had a vivid expectation of how the good idea was going to work. Finally, he found a way to thrive in mundane events.

Can you get the same results in your life too?

Yes, you too can come up with good ideas with remarkable predictability when you follow the three aforementioned principles.

World of Walls: 5 Lessons Walls Can Teach You About Self-Control

Take a moment, move away from the current politically motivated conversations about walls, arm yourself with childlike curiosity and just look around you.

If you look hard enough, here’s what you will be aware of: You’d realize how the sheer quantity and qualities of physical walls around us are a testament to how far we have come as humans. Name it. Churches, homes, supermarkets, schools, any kind of building – they are all identifiable by walls. Yet, in spite of how much our building styles have evolved over time, walls are not even half as strategically important as they were thousands of years ago!

Ages ago, the strength of a kingdom was largely dependent on the height, strength, and thickness of the walls that encompassed it. Walls were not handled with a laissez-faire attitude and vast amounts of effort and resources were expended in building them. This understanding was what stood out to a philosopher king’s inspired mind when he said the following golden words: Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.

Profound words!

Nowadays, walls are no longer built around kingdoms. But that does not stop them from still being a crucial aspect of the kind of buildings we erect today. And what’s more? Every single day, walls are capable of screaming wisdom at us because they are pretty much everywhere. Below are 5 lessons that walls can teach you about self-control.

1. Walls Provide Clear Boundaries

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Before a wall is built, either to separate rooms…or countries, efforts are made to know the exact point where the wall would be erected. All the calculations are done way before the first brick is laid. This is necessary because walls cannot be moved around like chess pieces on the board. If you get it wrong the first time, you would have to destroy the original wall and erect another one.

How does this apply to self-control?

Economics researchers Xavier Gine, Dean Karlan, and Jonathan Zinman conducted a study to see how they could get over 2000 Philippine smokers to quit smoking. The researchers divided the smokers into two groups. Members of the first group were asked to try to quit smoking in 6 months, after which their urine would be tested for nicotine. On the other hand, members of the second group were offered commitment contracts with a bank such that they could make weekly deposits for a period of 6 months. Like the first group, after 6 months, the members of this group had to go for a urine test to check their nicotine levels. If no nicotine was found in their bodies, they got their money back and vice versa. At the end of the study, it was revealed that the smokers offered a commitment contract were nearly 40% more likely to be nicotine-free after 1 year!!!

Just as the location and dimensions of walls are chosen well in advance before a single brick is laid, the battle of self-control is never won in the heat of the temptation. Rather, victory is secured way before the ‘temperature’ starts rising. If you want to survive the onslaught of temptations, your non-negotiables must be chosen ahead of time. If you are battling with lust, set clear boundaries ahead of time on the kind of movies you would not permit yourself to see for any reason. If you have tendencies for gluttony, make a precommitment to eat only one small plate of food and then drink plenty of water afterward. A seasoned politician took a similar approach which you can read about here

2. Walls Provide Strong Defenses

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In the days of old, kingdoms made use of walls as a form of defense against the attacks from enemy kingdoms, wild animals and other threats to their safety. Interestingly, walls today have similar functionalities. For instance, there are firewalls that protect the rapid spread of fires in the case of a fire emergency, consequently providing people with a little extra time to escape with their lives. Similarly, there are certain kinds of walls called shear walls that are capable of withstanding the shocks generated by earthquakes and high-speed winds. Ultimately, the point is that walls are a formidable defense against hazards.

How does this apply to self-control?

In the same way that walls provide a defense, self-control can be used to defend against stress and other factors that make one easy prey for temptations. However, the way this is done is not by consistently resisting tempting desires or by rescuing oneself from emergencies and the jaws of temptations. Researchers who have dedicated their careers to understanding self-control observed a better way. They discovered that people who have high levels of self-control devote their energies towards avoiding crises. They set-up their lives in such a way that they are able to avoid problem situations. For instance, they give themselves enough time to finish a project, that way they do not need to force themselves to stay awake all night to beat the deadline. They wake up earlier in the day, so they are able to get things done before other people start making demands on their time. Instead of using their self-control to quench fires and temptations, this group of people spend their energies on developing good habits that would eventually become walls protecting them from the emergencies of this life.

3. Walls Provide Dependable Insulation

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In houses, walls are very important for temperature regulation. When the temperature outside the building is too hot, the temperature within the building is relatively cooler. Conversely too, when the temperature outside the building is cold, the temperature within the building is warmer compared to the temperature outside. Both ways, either cool or hot, walls in the house play a role in ensuring that the temperature within the building is bearable for its inhabitants.

How does this apply to self-control?

In his bestselling book, Man’s Search For Meaning, Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl described many of the unspeakable human right violations that he faced in a Nazi concentration camp. While reflecting on the reason for his survival, Frankl penned the following: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” This ability to choose your response is what I like to describe as equanimity. According to Wikipedia, equanimity is a state of psychological stability and composure which is undisturbed by an experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance of their mind. Just like the walls of a building keep the temperature within the building relatively constant, self-control enables you to keep your emotions stable regardless of what is going on around you.

4. Walls Provide Beauty Through Finishes

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90% of the things that make a building more attractive is placed on the wall. Walls are plastered. Walls are painted. Walls are decorated. People do not hang clocks from the roofs of buildings. Neither do they hang pictures on the foundations of a house. Everything that makes the building more beautiful is showcased on the wall of the house.

How does this apply to self-control?

Every year, millions of people purchase tickets to either watch a football game or to attend a music concert. This happens because humans generally admire individuals who have consistently used self-control and discipline to attain mastery in their crafts. As I mentioned in a previous post (“The Matthew Principle and Why The Rich Keep Getting Richer”), success always compounds upon itself, and failure compounds on itself too. That’s why artists and athletes will keep on amassing wealth and fame as long as they stick to the self-control and discipline that brought them to the limelight in the first place. Just as walls are the carriers of the aesthetics of a building, your consistent devotion to a life of self-control and discipline will make people see the beautiful value in you. As a result, you’d start to attract people of wealth and worth who would celebrate you in the long run!

5. Walls Transmit the Weight of the House to the Foundation

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In buildings, particularly in North America and Australia, walls are constructed so that they are able to transfer the weight of the building to the foundation. This is done through posts, columns, and studs.

How does this apply to self-control?

Consider Alcoholic Anonymous (AA), an international organization that has been helping alcoholics stay sober since 1935. To help alcoholics attain sobriety, the organization has a 12-step program that involves members seeking guidance and strength through prayer and meditation from God. When Stanford researchers John McKellar, Eric Stewart, and Keith Humphreys tracked more than 2000 men who attended AA meetings, they discovered that there was indeed a decrease in alcoholism strongly associated with a regular attendance of AA meetings! If you can handle it, here it is: Even though we live in a highly secularized society, the role that God plays in our lives cannot be overemphasized. Without God at the foundation of our lives, every other thing would fall apart in seconds. Little wonder Paul of Tarsus says, ‘For in him [God] we live, and move, and have our being…’ In the same way the walls transmit the weight of the building to the foundation, it takes self-control to acknowledge the fact that you are limited as a human and there is a Higher Power constantly operating behind the scenes.

In Conclusion…

Remember, Wisdom calls aloud in the street. Again she raises her voice in the open squares. This time she’s calling your attention to how walls can teach you self-control. If you stay sensitive and incline your ears, you’d have an unfair advantage in this race called life!

Think Like Men, Act Like Lions: 5 Lessons Lions Can Teach You About Life

There is a reason why everyone know about lions.

Just ask any toddler to give you the name of an animal and nine times out of ten, the answer would be “Lion”. In the next few paragraphs, we’d be diving into 5 characteristics of lions that can set you up for the fulfillment of your purpose and destiny.

Lions Understand the Power of Association

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By nature, lions are social animals. In fact, research has shown that they are one of the most social of all the feline species. This is not a mere coincidence. One way or the other, lions have been able to discern over time that there are benefits to living together in groups. For instance, by virtue of their tendencies to hunt together, lions are able to attack their prey more efficiently. While one lion might be able to defend its territory against invaders, the effect is multiplied when there are numerous lions working together to defend their pride. This reduces the chances of lions being injured from attacks, while also reducing the chances of hunger as the lions share their prey.

How does this relate to you?

In his book, The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose, Matthew Kelly says, “The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the best version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great. We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.”

You need to understand that there is power in association. The people you spend the bulk of your time with have a powerful role in determining what you get out of life. This is one reason the rich will keep on getting richer and the poor would keep on getting poorer. Wealth brings more opportunities for creating wealth and lack attracts even more lack. This is the same reason that there are always more opportunities for the purpose-driven ones to manifest the seeds deposited within them. Your association would go a long way in determining your location on the food chain. When all is said and done, the people you continually spend time with are a pointer to the kind of person you are. Little wonder Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” By associating with each other, each friend ends up in a better position than what he would have been in if he were alone.

Lions Understand Their Role in the Grand Scheme of Things

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Ecologists and biologists refer to certain kinds of animals as ‘keystone predators’. These are a special group of animals that have a powerful role in bringing about balance into their immediate environment. They do not have to be plenty in number to bring about the desired outcome. Their mere presence is a quality assurance measure in the ecosystem. Lions are able to do this by feeding on a broad range of animals such as giraffes, buffaloes, and deer that would have otherwise depleted the grasslands through overgrazing. Without the presence of lions, in a matter of years, there would be no grasses in the grasslands. This, in turn, would lead to severe disruptions in the balance of such ecosystems. This might sound oxymoronic but the very act of going on the offensive to hunt down prey is a powerful way that lions ensure that there is continuity of life in their environment.

How does this relate to you?

You have a role that God has created for you on this side of eternity. You have a role in the His continuously unfolding story of creation. Unfortunately, a lot of people are walking through life without any passion. They do not understand that they are co-authors with God in this beautiful story called life. As a result, they lead boring, unsatisfactory lives because they are not acting in ways that are congruent with their life purposes. You were placed on earth for a reason. It is your responsibility to find out what that purpose is. And when you find it, you need to go on the offensive to diligently pursue it. Lions do not fold their arms in their dens patiently waiting for the deer and buffaloes to offer themselves for the slaughter. In the same way, you should also be ready to go out of your comfort zone to pursue your purpose and fulfill your role in God’s meta-narrative. You were created for fruitfulness, multiplication, replenishment, subjugation, and dominion (Genesis 1:28). You were created to be a keystone predator in your area of purpose!

Lions Understand the Power of Selection and Decisiveness

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Lions have a weakness that they have learned to use to their advantage. In comparison to their sizes, lions have small hearts. This results in lions not having much endurance and stamina, as their blood cannot be pumped towards their lungs to receive oxygen quickly enough. This could be a reason why lions spend up to 20 hours a day in a passive, resting state. By implication, this means that lions need to be very strategic when they hunt. First, they identify the single animal they want to kill. Lions do not wildly chase 5 buffaloes or 10 deer at the same time. That is not a heart-friendly approach for lions. Rather, they pick out the animal that has strayed away from its group. After that, they gradually and stealthily inch closer to the animal, usually under the cover of the tall brown grasses of the Savannah grasslands. Even the attack itself is a short burst of devastating power, usually involving the lion jumping at and choking the unfortunate animal with its powerful jaws. Within moments, all that is left of the prey is blood and bones.

How does this relate to you?

In the journey of life, you would need to realize that you cannot be good at everything. You would have areas of strengths, as well as areas of weaknesses. That is why, just like lions, you need to play more to the areas of your strengths. Lions do this by adapting their hunting style to their stamina levels. You need to do the same with your strengths. You also need to have the subconscious awareness that you do not need to approach every event in your life with the same level of energy. Some activities have to be delegated, while others need to be eliminated or automated. If you insist on doing everything on your own, you would end up burning out very quickly, just as the stupid lion that chases 500 buffaloes at once. In addition, lions have some form of decision-making system that enables them to pinpoint the animal that would soon be dinner. They realize that if they spend to much time dilly-dallying on the best animal they need to kill, they would die of hunger. Once they make a selection, they focus on that animal – and that animal alone – with devastating ruthlessness. Do the same with the opportunities that come around in your life. Be decisive and realize that your indecision is a decision!

Lions Understand the Power of Night Time

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As mentioned earlier, because of their hearts, lions do not have the stamina to chase their preys all day long. Therefore, in addition to using stealth, lions are also masters of hunting at night. To be able to achieve this, they need to have powerful eyes that are able to pick out their unsuspecting prey.

How does this relate to you?

William A. Ward famously uttered these golden words: “Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing.” The truth is that the majority of the people in the world are prisoners of mediocre existences. As a result, a little more deliberate effort on your end would put you beyond the despairing claws of mediocrity – unlocking access to mindblowing power-ups for your life and destiny. Naturally, you need to have a burning vision for your desired future. Without this, all you’re doing is crossing the highway with blinders on. Once your vision is in place, you need to learn how to develop mastery over the night or at least wake up before the sun rises. While there are virtues to be found in resting your body and mind with sleep, there is also power in conquering your day before sunrise. The most obvious benefit is that you develop the capacity to increase the length of your days (Proverbs 3:1-2) such that you are able to accomplish more in 24 hours than others are able to attain in a month!

Lions Are Not Afraid to Make Themselves Heard

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Lions are well known for their ability and willingness to roar. They roar during the day, and they not ashamed of roaring at night. In fact, lions are more likely to roar at night with their sounds travelling as far 8 kilometers away from their current location.

How does this relate to you?

The only reason lions roar is to announce their presence. The roar of a lion is not a mating call, neither is it a warning or defense mechanism. The roar is a self-promotional strategy. Here’s what T. Harv Eker said in his bestselling book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth: “Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.” In the name of false humility, a lot of people shrink away from telling others about their areas of expertise. Not only is this capable of rendering you broke for a long, long time, it also deprives many people the potential solution to their problems. This is not humility, but rather a classic case of selfishness and pride where you allow your low opinion of yourself to deprive others of the answer to their prayers.

Reflective Thinking: Seeing Life One Frame At A Time

In the introduction to his bestselling book, “Predictably Irrational”, psychologist Dan Ariely presents an interesting analogy for understanding the kind of job he does:

“Why experiments? Life is complex, with multiple forces simultaneously exerting their influences on us, and this complexity makes it difficult to figure out exactly how each of these forces shapes our behavior. For social scientists, experiments are like microscopes, or strobe lights. They help us slow human behavior to a frame-by-frame narration of events, isolate individual forces, examine those forces carefully and in more detail. They let us test directly and unambigously what makes us tick”

As humans, while we mentally assent to the fact that there are many forces that influence the way we act, we lead lives that suggest otherwise. For the greater part of each day, we move around wrapped up in our heads. As it were, our minds are in a constant state of fluttering mental clutter. We like to think that we are in control, that we know what we want and that we know what to do per time. However, our experiences indicate otherwise. As time progresses, we develop faulty mental models founded on errors, hearsay, traditions and myths and we wonder why we experience the same results as our progenitors.

As Dan Ariely indicates in the aforementioned quote, a powerful way to have a better understanding of your behavior is to slow down the actions that make up your behavior, and observe the building blocks that constitute those actions. This is a very interesting recommendation for improving our behaviors. Unfortunately, two problems arise from this. First of all, many of us are not social scientists. We do not have the tools (or funds) to set up elaborate experiments for tracking our actions. Secondly, how do we ‘slow down’ our behaviors? Unless we are some reality TV star, we do not spend our waking hours being followed by camera crews who relentlessly record our life stories.

So, how then can we slow down our behaviors? The answer is embedded in the habit of deliberate reflective thinking.

Reflective Thinking Can Make You President

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In July 2004, then junior US Senator Barack Obama gave the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention. The title of the speech was ‘The Audacity of Hope’ and it literally transported Obama into national significance. Two years later, Obama published the book “The Audacity of Hope”, where he elaborated on the themes, ideologies and thought patterns that influenced his 2004 speech. By January 20 2009, Barack Obama sat in the Oval Office at the White House as the 44th President of the United States.

As a disclaimer, becoming the POTUS involves much more than speaking at a national convention and writing a book. However, one needs to look no further than Obama’s book, ‘The Audacity of Hope’ before appreciating the fact that the man was an ardent reflective thinker. In her review for the book, literary critic Michiko Kakutani has the following to say:

“[Barack Obama] is that rare politician who can actually write – and write movingly and genuinely about himself… [He] strives in these pages to ground his policy thinking in simple common sense… while articulating these ideas in level-headed, non-partisan prose. That, in itself, is something unusual, not only in these venomous pre-election days, but also in these increasingly polarized and polarizing times”

In December 2018, I also arrived at the same conclusion with Kakutani after reading “The Audacity of Hope”. The man had an unparalleled clarity in his thoughts that could only arise from deliberately developing the habit of consistent reflective thinking. As a good example of Obama’s depth of insight, consider some of his thoughts and ideas concerning hard work during his conversations on values and race,

“All the money in the world won’t boost student achievement if parents make no effort to instill in their children the values of hard work and delayed gratification… Any strategy to reduce intergenerational poverty has to be centered on work, not welfare – not only because work provides independence and income but also because work provides order, structure, dignity and opportunities for growth in people’s lives.”

Through reflective thinking, Obama was able to identify the factors that set him up for success as an African American in a society that was setup to sabotage African Americans. He was able to consistently freeze aspects of his past and deliberately mine for golden nuggets in the individual frames that made up his life. He did this with critical thinking and unparalleled objectivity. Through his habit of reflective thinking, Obama learned, from his past and from the annals of history, steps he could take to improve his life and that of an entire race. History would be a judge of his political career.

How Effective Reflective Thinking Is Done

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The first step to reflective thinking is having a consciousness of your ability to think. The vast majority of people seem to lack the awareness of their capacity for thinking about the thoughts running through their minds. This is due to the fact that many of us lead lives with a reactive paradigm. As events unfold in our physical and social environments, we respond with actions and behaviors that we deem to be appropriate to the event. With time, we develop a reactionary habit and as a result, we are constantly in a state of overwhelm, frustration and unrest. The desirable alternative would be to take proactive measures to ensure that we are aware of our thoughts and we actually reflect on them. Little wonder the Bible strongly admonishes in 2 Corinthians 13:5a, “Examine yourselves…prove your own selves.”  One powerful way to do this is by manipulating elements of your physical/social environment, such that you set yourself up for reflective thinking. The truth is that you are not going to engage in productive reflection while you are mindlessly scrolling through your social media feed. More often than not, you would need to woo the lesson from your reflection as part of the process. By engaging in the simple act of selecting a specific time and place where you would go for the sole purpose of reflective thinking, you would find yourself reaping the benefits of reflective thinking.

The next step towards reflective thinking is harnessing the power of journalling. A lot of people overlook the power of writing down their thoughts. As Julien Green famously quipped, “Thought flies and words go on foot.” Edmund Wilson went further to remark, “I think with my right hand.” The idea in the two quotes are inherently the same. The truth remains that the faintest ink is stronger than the sharpest mind. This is especially true when you consider the fact that the mind is not meant for holding thoughts, but for creating them. You can imagine how many world-transforming ideas that have been lost because of one’s failure to pen down thoughts. You can imagine how many valuable lessons have been lost to the past because they were not written down. Stephen Leacock also quipped, “Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is the simplicity itself – it is the occurring which is difficult.” The proactive way to avoid the pain of losing the lessons of reflective thought is by striving to always have a pen and notebook on your person at every moment of your waking hours. You do not need to carry encyclopedia-sized sheets of paper because you want to capture your thoughts. All you need is a small jotter or notebook that can fit into your pocket. As a result, anytime during the course of your day that reflective thoughts come to you, you are equipped with the tools to capture them.

After proactively being aware of your capacity to engage in thought, as well as equipping yourself with the tools for journalling, you need to break down your actions and behaviors in response to varying scenarios during the course of your day. Consider how you felt. Were you calm? Were you under presure? Did you think through before saying something? Also think about the motives powering the aspects of your behavior. Were you trying to deceive the other party? Did you feel inspired? Did your behaviors align with your values and ideals? With the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17) as your thermometer, you would be able to discern instances where your behavior left a lot to be desired, as well as instances where the muscles of your character were strengthened.

It is important to emphasize that this would not be easy. Especially with the fact that many of us do not proactively spend time in deliberate thought. Most times, we are either worrying about things that are out of our control, or things that are not important. However, when you proactively embrace the very idea of reflective thinking, you automatically put yourself among the top 1% of individuals who lead lives powered by the batteries of clear thoughts. These are the ones who will not be casualities of faulty mental models because they know the power in observing their past actions, attitudes and behaviors – frame by frame.

Laboring To Rest: How Systems Make Goals a Waste of Time

On May 17, 2006, FC Barcelona won the UEFA Champions League trophy after defeating Arsenal 2-1 in the final game of the competition. Big things were expected from this crop of Barcelona players and their system of football. Sadly, that never materialized. After two years without any major trophies, in 2008 it was crystal clear to everyone that there was a need for a system overhaul.

That system overhaul came in the form of Pep Guardiola. With a focus on aggressively retaining possession of the ball, as well as diligently applying relentless pressure on opponents in the few times they had a sniff of ball possession, Guardiola and his team went on to win 14 out of 18 major trophies over the course of four seasons. That is a whooping 77.8% success rate!!!

Yet, when Guardiola took over the reins as Barcelona’s head coach, his goal was not to win all the trophies that were available. In his book Pep Guardiola: Another Way of Winning, Guillem Balague shares what Guardiola said in his first meeting with the Barcelona squad in 2008:

“Gentlemen, good morning. You can imagine what a huge motivation it is for me to be here, to coach this team. It is the ultimate honor. Above all, I love the club. I would never make a decision that would harm or go against the club. Everything I am going to do is based on my love for FC Barcelona. We need and want order and discipline…I only ask this of you. I won’t tell you off if you misplace a pass, or miss a header that costs us a goal, as long as I know you are giving 100 percent. I could forgive you any mistake, but I won’t forgive you if you don’t give your heart and soul to Barcelona. I’m not asking results of you, just performance. I won’t accept people speculating about performance if it’s half-hearted or people aren’t giving their all. This is Barça, gentlemen, this is what is asked of us and this is what I will ask of you. You have to give your all…When we have the ball, we can’t lose it. When that happens, run and get it back. That is it, basically.

Note how Guardiola did not mention anything about winning trophies, or even winning games. Yet, by the time he was done with his managerial career at Barcelona, he had managed to achieve phenomenal success with his team.

So, how did Guardiola attain idol status during his time at Barcelona? He simply focused on systems at the expense of goals.

The System on the Backend

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Motivational speakers typically mislead thousands by urging them to follow their passions and do what they love. In addition, motivational speakers are also guilty of hammering on the need to chase goals. This is why people keep on setting new year resolutions and failing them within days. While smart goals are desirable for providing clarity and direction, depending solely on them for change is like resting your entire weight on a dry and brittle twig – not only would you fall down, you’d also get your hand pierced!

One thing that Guardiola understood was that systems were more powerful in bringing about the attainment of goals. He was not obsessed with winning trophies. Rather, he was engrossed with the kind of players that were recruited into the team, as well as the system of precise triangular single-touch passes that his players used in walking the ball into the opposition’s net. Because of the system of play he instilled into his players’ subconscious minds, FC Barcelona literally won every single trophy that was up for grabs.

Here’s is an interesting angle to consider: If, after you had developed a clear goal, you went ahead to ignore it, totally focusing your energies on building and perfecting your system, would you still attain your goals?

The answer is a resounding yes!!!

Here’s what James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, had to say in this matter:

“The goal in any sport is to finish with the best score, but it would be ridiculous to spend the whole game staring at the scoreboard. The only way to actually win is to get better each day. In the words of three-time Super Bowl winner Bill Walsh, “The score takes care of itself.” The same is true for other areas of life. If you want better results, then forget about setting goals. Focus on your system instead.”

Ironically, peddlers of false advice are often righteous practitioners of sound principles on the backend. For many motivational speakers and gurus, their goal is to become the best in their niches. However, unlike their ignorant audiences, these speakers know that merely setting goals would not bring them closer to their attainments. As a result, they devote themselves to perfecting their systems of stage mastery, oration and, persuasion. Naturally, they get the results – which sadly also leads to the dissemination of poisonous information.

The Primordial System of the Father

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The Creation Story as recorded in Genesis 1 is a microcosm of everything that makes the seen world tick. When we take a closer examination, what we simply find is a story of God establishing systems that will continue to run till the end of time. Indeed, as it was revealed to William of Occam (circa 1287–1347), “It is vain to do with more what can be done with less” Everything that God did in those six days of creation was deliberate and it counted towards a specific purpose. God expended effort in establishing an efficient system that was capable of self-propagating indefinitely. No creative word was wasted.

Consider the creative system that God established to ensure the continuation of plant life on earth:

Genesis 1:11-12 says, ‘And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.’

Note how God embedded the capacity for plants to procreate indefinitely. He created plants with the ability to produce seeds, while also creating seeds the ability to produce plants. We all acknowledge that God is the Almighty, All-Powerful Creator, and there is nothing stopping Him from applying creative effort every instance that there was a need for a new plant or herb in the field. Expending creative energies to continually create plants would have been cool to see. However, it would not have been efficient. Hence, after God had clarified His goal of creating a physical world for His glory and pleasure (Colossians 1:16; Revelation 4:11), He set up a system to ensure that goal was consistently attained.

The same thing repeats itself in Genesis 1:28 after God had created mankind.

“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”

God did not create another Adam and Eve one million times. Rather, He created a system that enabled Adam and Eve to reproduce offsprings in their own likeness. God created the system of sexual reproduction as an ironclad guarantee that there would always be life on the planet.

God loves order and process, and He is very systematic. This is why Genesis 2:2 could happen. “And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”

God did not rest because He was exhausted from the efforts that went into creating the heavens and earth. It wasn’t as if God was going to pass out if He had created one more thing. Rather, God rested because of the systems He had already established. There was literary nothing that God needed to create that wasn’t already created. It’s the same thing that happens when an artist has finished a great masterpiece that he had been working on. When the artist is done with the painting, there is no more work left to be done on it. So he rests from that painting job. That’s exactly the same thing that God did with His Creation process.

Leverage Systems to Rest

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Man was made in God’s image and likeness. This means that we have a portion of the very essence of God’s Nature embedded in humanity. This implies that there are certain manifestations of God’s character in our persons and behaviors. We have the ability to appreciate goals because God appreciates goals. Furthermore, if God had the ability to set up systems to efficiently and effectively attain His creation goals, we also have the ability to do so.

That is why I think that the author of Hebrews writes a stern warning in Hebrews 4:1:

“Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it.”

The ultimate goal is to enter into a state of rest, where you cease from your works. However, God has established fail-proof systems for every aspect of your existence on both sides of eternity. There is a system for salvation. There are also godly systems for attaining prosperity, healing and peace like clockwork. Yet, because many people are oblivious to the working of systems, they miss out on the state of rest that God has established for them.

The writer of Hebrews continues in verse 3 of the same chapter:

“For we which have believed do enter into rest, as he said, As I have sworn in my wrath, if they shall enter into my rest: although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.”

When you believe in God’s methods and systems, your learning curve becomes shortened and you enter into His “Genesis 2:2” kind of rest quickly. There is no need to expend time and effort in reinventing the wheel. God has already established systems from the foundation of the earth and you can find His unmistakable signature in Nature – only if you are able to observe and see them.

The culmination of this idea can be found in Hebrews 4:11:

“Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.”

After everything is said and done, there is only one kind of labor you should expend all your efforts in doing. That work is one done in establishing systems for yourself. And when you walk in total faith in God and key yourself in the methods and systems that He has already set up, your life becomes like a six-course meal prepared specifically for you.

Ultimately, as James Clear has quipped time and time again, “You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” Today, start praying, thinking of, searching for and implementing tested systems that would dramatically improve the quality of your life.

The Myth of Quitting: When Quitting Is A Good Idea

Quitters never win. Winners never quit.

Really now?

Have you ever started a book, but found quitting very difficult to do? You discovered that the book was leading you nowhere, but you still kept slogging through it for the next four weeks because you had spent the past two weeks reading it? Your stubborn refusal to quit could be because you felt that you were going to miss something beneficial later in the book. However, even after you got to the last page, there was nothing worthwhile you could pick out from the book. A total waste of time!

People Tend To Hate Quitting

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Here’s the honest truth: People do not like to quit anything they have made some form of investment in (monetary, time-wise, emotional).

This is the same reason why people continue in unhappy relationships. They feel that they have already invested so much emotionally and monetarily into the relationship, such that it does not make sense to quit the relationship, even if it is an unhealthy one. And when you are asked why you’re still in the relationship, you sheepishly reply, ‘He/She is my bad habit…’

The same phenomenon can be seen when people lead mediocre lives doing jobs that they detest. Their response when asked why? 

‘But, I’ve spent so many years training to get into this position.”

“Would I just waste all that money I spent on that training?”

Well, you should.

Robert Greene shares the following paradigm-shifting thoughts on the better approach:

“In dealing with your career and its inevitable changes, you must think in the following way: You are not tied to a particular position; your loyalty is not to a career or a company. You are committed to your Life’s Task, to giving it full expression. It is up to you to find it and guide it correctly. It is not up to others to protect or help you. You are on your own. Change is inevitable, particularly in such a revolutionary moment as ours. Since you are on your own, it is up to you to foresee the changes going on right now in your profession. You must adapt your Life’s Task to these circumstances. You do not hold on to past ways of doing things, because that will ensure you will fall behind and suffer for it. You are flexible and always looking to adapt.”

This is why it is expedient for you to take personal responsibility for your life. No one is going to think for you. No human is going to direct you. No individual is going to be your constant go-to counselor. As I love saying, ““There would be a time in your life where all you’re left with is your two ears and the Holy Spirit within you”

We need to be aggressively attached to our vision, purpose, and destiny. We know that there is nothing as rewarding as doing what God has created you to do. But for many of us, that’s where it all ends. When we find ourselves in situations where our progress is stunted, our default mode is to become soft and sentimental. We become comfortable and unwilling to rock the boat. While we have the subconscious understanding that nothing is permanent, we become enamored with the status quo because we feel we have spent so much time invested in the current stage.

We know what to do, but we are unwilling to follow through with it. Why?

That’s the because of a phenomenon called sunk costs.

Sunk Costs and Quitting

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According to Ohio State University professors, Hal Arkes and Catherine Blumer, the sunk cost effect “…is manifested in a greater tendency to continue an endeavor once an investment in money, effort, or time has been made. The prior investment, which is motivating the present decision to continue, does so despite the fact that it objectively should not influence the decision…the psychological justification for this maladaptive behavior is predicated on the desire not to appear wasteful.”

A classic example of the sunk cost effect is found in the curious relationship between David and Jonathan. According to the power dynamics in a kingdom, when a king dies, his heir is usually the next person to step up to the throne. Saul was the king of Israel and it was only natural for him to secure the kingdom for his son, Jonathan, by getting rid of any potential threat to the kingdom. In this case, the threat was David. However, since the kingdom of Israel was a Theocratic one, God stood as the Ultimate Kingmaker. And the Kingmaker had rejected Saul as king and selected David in his state.

Now, here’s where it gets interesting.

Saul knew that God had rejected him as king. Jonathan also knew that God had chosen David to take the place of his father as king, which by implication also meant that his own path to the throne was a foregone conclusion too. Even more baffling, 1 Samuel 23:17 records Jonathan, the Crown Prince, practically telling David that he was ready to be his second-in-command. This goes to show how sensitive Jonathan was to the choices of the Kingmaker.

Yet, by 1 Samuel 31:2 Jonathan was a dead man – killed in battle fighting for a king that had been rejected by God.

So, why did Jonathan refuse to leave Saul and join forces with David to form a formidable kingdom? While the Bible does not specify exactly what transpired, it is easy to see the sunk cost effect play out in this scenario. Obviously, it is safe to assume that familial ties played a role in Jonathan’s decision to stay put with Saul. Perhaps, though, Jonathan had spent time trying to win his father’s approval, and he felt that he could not leave his father until he got some kind of affirmation. Perhaps Jonathan had grown to develop an emotional attachment to the wealth and trappings of his father’s kingdom that he found it difficult to much of a cost to abandon that lifestyle and become like the nomadic David. Whatever the reason was not quitting his allegiance to his father, Jonathan succumbed to the sunk cost effect and lost his life for it.

Quitting Because of The Truth

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So, what should be your thought processes before quitting? Since, we are going to encounter certain difficulties in the course of our life journey, it makes sense to have some kind of checklist that would make us easily decide whether we should plough on with gritted teeth, or we should pull the plug and call it quits.

Author and lecturer Jim Collins shares a discussion he had with Admiral Jim Stockdale, a US military officer who had been captured by enemy soldiers during the Vietnam War. While in prison, Stockdale survived about 20 different torturing sessions from 1965 – 1973. When Jim Collins asked about the captured soldiers who died in the Vietnamese prisons, Stockdale replied:

“Oh, that’s easy, the optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart…This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

The last statement of the quote is a very important mindset to have when gauging the right time to call it quits. To be able to know when quitting should be an option, you need to have the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be. A lot of people do not have an appreciation for the truth. They are not willing to tell it, even to themselves, because they do not want to associate with the uncomfortable feelings that accompany telling the truth. As Winston Churchill quipped, “Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.” You need to be willing to engage in those uncomfortable conversations with yourself, and others, if applicable.

Quitting Because of Pareto

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The very fact that we are humans implies that certain elements of our existence are limited. We do not have enough time and resources to do everything by ourselves. By implication, that means that there are bound to be trade-offs and opportunity costs that we have to give up in our day-to-day activities. When you spend time and resources in doing certain tasks or activities, by default, you are also ignoring some other activities. The only criteria that then determines where you expend your time and efforts are the expected outcomes of the activities, as well as the satisfaction you derive from such activities.

Vilfredo Pareto was an engineer, sociologist, and economist who came up with the mathematical formula used to demonstrate the distribution of wealth in the society. By studying the distribution of land and landowners in Italy, he found that 80% of wealth and income was produced by 20% of the population. He found this phenomenon to be applicable in almost every aspect of life. Nowadays, Vilfredo Pareto’s observations, now dubbed the Pareto Law has been used by different companies in their efforts to maximize their efficiency and profits due to the fact that they have limited time and resources.

You can use Pareto’s Law to do the same thing when trying to determine the circumstances where quitting would be the best option. For instance, since 80% of the consequences arise from 20% of the causes, you may decide to find out the top 20% of the sources that are causing 80% of the problems, stress and unhappiness that you are experiencing in your life. Once you have identified these sources by being brutally honest with yourself, then you can focus on quitting these activities while focusing your resources on the activities that bring you the best outcomes.

Quitting a business, a relationship, a book, or an activity does not mean you are a weakling. Neither does it mean that you are conceited, arrogant and full of yourself. Quitting does not render you a second-class human. Contrary to that, sometimes, quitting is a sign of responsibility and maturity. It could be a sign that you value the seed that God has deposited within you and you are willing to get rid of the thorns of distraction that would choke that seed. Sometimes, quitting could end up being a pointer to the fact that you are committed to nurturing that seed into a plant that yields its increase in its thirties, sixties, and, hundreds.

According to the words of Tim Ferriss, “Slow down and remember this: Most things make no difference. Being busy is a form of laziness – lazy thinking and indiscriminate action”

Identity-Based Motivation: The Problem Isn’t Habit, It’s Identity!

On April 24, 1945, US President Harry Truman was informed about the development of a powerful and terrible bomb developed by brilliant physicists at Alamogordo, New Mexico. Later that day, President Truman wrote the following in his diary:

Stimson told me that he wanted me to know about an immense project that was underway–a project looking to the development of a new explosive of almost unbelievable destructive power. That was all he felt free to say at the time, and his statement left me puzzled. It was the first bit of information that had come to me about the atomic bomb, but he gave me no details The next day Jimmy Byrnes, who until shortly before had been Director of War Mobilization for President Roosevelt, came to see me, and even he told me a few details, though with great solemnity he said that we were perfecting an explosive great enough to destroy the whole world.

By August 6, 1945, a ‘very inefficient’ bomb dropped on Hiroshima instantly killing 70,000-80,000 people. In another three days, a second atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. By August 15, the Emperor of Japan – Emperor Hirohito – gave his famous Jewel Voice Broadcast, where he announced the surrender of Japan to the Allies.

While the annals of history report that the atomic bomb forced Japan to surrender, this was not the case. Yes, the atomic bomb was the most powerful bomb seen at the time. However, the real reason why the Japanese forces surrendered was that the Soviets decided to join the war. Originally, the Japanese and Soviets had an agreement of not interfering with the other country’s affairs. This meant that the Japanese forces only had to concentrate their might on containing the US. This also explains why the Japanese leaders did not surrender after Hiroshima’s bombing on August 6.

However, when the news filtered that the Soviets had broken their end of the bargain, the Japanese realized that they were fighting on two fronts – with the US and with the Soviets. The US was separated from Japan by the Pacific Ocean and it would probably take months before the US army could make inroads to overpower Japan. The Soviets, on the other hand, were only days away from overrunning Japanese-controlled territory. It made perfect sense for surrender after learning that the Soviets had joined the war.

To add even another twist to the story, there is evidence that Harry Truman did not have to approve the detonation of the atomic bombs to win the war against Japan. For instance, Adm. William D. Leahy, Truman’s chief of staff in the U.S Strategic Bombing Survey is reported to have said the following:

‘Certainly, prior to 31 December 1945, and in all probability, prior to 1 November 1945, Japan would have surrendered even if atomic bombs had not been dropped.”

Another military official, Brig. Gen. Carter Clarke said, ‘We didn’t need to do it, and we knew we didn’t need to do it, and they knew that we didn’t need to do it, we used them as an experiment for two atomic bombs.’

So, why did President Harry Truman go on to approve dropping the atomic bombs on Japan?

Everything Eventually Bores Down To Identity

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In his book, Man of the People: A Life of Harry S. Truman, Alonzo Hamby tells this story of President Truman interacting with and answering questions from a young audience.

“Mr. President, was you popular when you was a boy?”

“Why, no, I was never popular,” the old man told the crowd of school children in the Truman Library auditorium. “The popular boys were the ones who were good at games and had big, tight fists. I was never like that. Without my glasses I was blind as a bat, and to tell the truth, I was kind of a sissy. If there was any danger of getting into a fight, I always ran. I guess that’s why I’m here today.”

From the little snippet from the biography, it is easy to say that a younger Harry Truman had a problem with his identity and the way he saw himself. A little research deeper, it is not hard to see where the seeds of this identity were sown.

In the same book, Harry Truman’s father was described as a short man who was about 1.62 meters tall. Yet, in spite of his physical limitations in terms of height, Harry Truman’s father never hesitated to handle disagreements with fisticuffs. In fact, there is a story of how the man nearly beat up a large lawyer who had accused him of lying in a courtroom.

In Harry Truman’s eyes, his dad was the definition of a manly man! And life experience upon life experience pointed to one fact: Unless Truman acted like his dad, there was no way he would possess the identity of a manly man.

The identity of the manly man started to fade away when Truman discovered that he had poor eyesight and had to wear glasses as thick as Coke bottles. Two years later, at the age of 10, Truman contracted diphtheria which lingered for months and left parts of his body paralyzed. This continued to eat at Truman’s identity, as well as his ability to meet the standards of manliness set by his father long after he had recovered from his illness.

For the rest of his life, Harry Truman would continue to make decisions that he could use to prove to himself that he was a manly man in his own right. Perhaps, it was this need to meet up with the identity of toughness that made Truman opt for dropping the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki when they provided little to no strategic advantage in a war that was approaching its eventual end.

Identity Precedes Character

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Harry Truman made himself believe that a masculine man is the one who is not afraid of selecting the toughest option whenever he is presented with a series of choices. Based on the identity that was on Truman’s mind, he was always going to be motivated to take the action that validated the identity he had on his mind. And this identity was one of a tough masculine man that his father would have been proud of. This same identity condemned approximately 200,000 people to an agonizing and tactically unnecessary death.

Truman later defended his actions to use the atomic bombs saying,

“As President of the United States, I had the fateful responsibility of deciding whether or not to use this weapon for the first time. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make. But the President cannot duck hard problems—he cannot pass the buck. I made the decision after discussions with the ablest men in our Government, and after long and prayerful consideration. I decided that the bomb should be used in order to end the war quickly and save countless lives—Japanese as well as American.”

People act and make sense of the world based on the identity on their minds. This is why Paul’s advice to the believers at Galatia makes a whole lot of sense.

“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh”

Note that the scripture did not say, ‘Do not fulfill the lust of the flesh, so that you may be able to walk in the Spirit’. No! Paul said, ‘Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.’

There is a reason why a lot of us are still battling with unhealthy habits. Unlike Harry Truman who found a way to embrace the identity of a tough masculine man, we seem to be totally oblivious of our true identities. And for those of us who are aware, we are usually unwilling to embrace the identity of who we are in the Spirit. We fail to walk in the consciousness of who we are in the Spirit. As a result, we keep on struggling to walk in victory over sin and the unhealthy habits that we battle with daily.

As you may have found out in your life’s experiences, it is impossible to consistently act in a way that is not consistent with the identity you have in your mind at the moment.

Little wonder King Solomon pens down these powerful words:

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”

You cannot overcome a negative behavior by being consumed with thoughts of how to avoid negative behaviors! As unconventional as it may sound, it is the gospel truth: If you want to consistently walk in the victory over sin and unhealthy habits, do not think about sin! Do not think about unhealthy habits!

Rather, by being identity conscious, you automatically overpower the sin issue. By focusing on possessing a healthy identity, you would find healthy habits being set up in your life accordingly.

How To Change Your Identity And Set Yourself Up For Success

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Before you can understand how to change your identity to set yourself up for success, you need to understand 3 foundational basics concerning identity.

First, you have multiple identities. A man can be a father, a son, a husband, an employer, a pastor, a spirit man and many more. The man possesses all these identities at the same time.

Second, your identity is not stable. Even though it appears to be stable, your perception of who you are, changes from time to time, based on the immediate context that you find yourself in. The same man that is an aggressive taskmaster as an employee at work becomes harmless, soft and emotional when playing with his newborn baby at home. It’s all in the context.

Thirdly, while identity is never stable because you have multiple identities at the same time, your desire to use your identity to make meaning of your life is always constant. This is why you would never act in a manner that is not consistent with your identity. If an action does not make sense to the identity that is on your mind at the moment, you would not follow through with it.

With that said, how can you change your identity to set yourself up for victory over sin and destructive habits?

The first step is to develop clarity about the new identity you desire to manifest. For instance, as a believer, my identity is that I am born of the Spirit. As a result, I am a spirit too. What are my characteristics as one born of the Spirit? According to the Bible, it means that I am righteous, holy, and wise. You may decide that you want to be a serial, best-selling author. What are the characteristics of best-selling authors? Well, for one, they make time to write in the mornings and/or evenings every day!

Once you have clarity about the identity you wish you manifest in your life, you need to find a way to make that identity stay stable in your mind. The way this is done is through constant consciousness. And here is the part where a lot of us fall short. You cannot merely wish, woo or command the consciousness of a particular identity to jump on you. The truth is that people are sensitive to what their immediate context imply for their identities. That is why stability in identity only comes from repeatedly experiencing contexts that overall feel the same over time. In the example of Harry Truman, he consistently exposed his identity of trying to be a manly man in different contexts leading up to his time at the US presidency and beyond. As a believer, this is referred to as ‘renewing of your mind’ where you consistently expose your mind to as many different contexts for the new identity you seek to manifest. For instance, being wise in my spiritual identity might mean resisting the devil in one context, while also meaning fleeing fornication in another context. The same thing is applicable in the example of the person who wants to be a best-selling author. By choosing to write every morning, you’re showing that you’re consistent and disciplined, which might also mean that you work out every evening in one context, while also meaning that you would not check your mails until 12 noon.

Finally, you need to have an interpretation and plan for the difficulties that you would inevitably encounter. Learn to reframe difficulties as important milestones you need to pass to reinforce your identity. For instance, as a believer, trials and temptations are bound to arise. However, when I rename these temptations or trials as pathways to growth, I am more likely going to keep my mind on the identity of being born of the spirit. Similarly, for the person that wants to write a best-selling book, a time would come when it would become a bit difficult to stay consistent and disciplined. The individual that interprets these difficulties as a necessary path to greatness would ride over the waves of challenges and would arrive at his expected destination in the long run.

When you operate from an identity paradigm, the difficulties you experience become the path you need to take to arrive at the better you that desire. The truth is that while your identity influences your actions, your actions also have an effect on your identity. When you act in a way that aligns with your desired identity, you reinforce that identity; and when you act in a way that does not align with your identity, you’re dismissing the importance of that identity you desire.

Plucking Out Your Right Eye: Strategies For Handling Toxic Relationships

As much as I am usually shocked by the antics of Donald Trump on Twitter, I could not help but stand firmly on his side in an episode where the news media purposely quoted him as saying, “Immigrants are animals.” Of course, this quote was taken out of context and naturally, it created a great uproar. Upon considering his quote in the context of his talk, it was apparent that the news media were simply trying to generate controversy.

Here’s what really happened: Trump had been asked a question about a criminal gang made up of immigrants and a long list of truly abhorrent crimes that they had committed. In his response, Trump was visibly disgusted and expressed his exact emotions by calling the criminal group less than human.

Yet, all it took was to create a social media meltdown was to simply pick out a single quote out of context. And yet another reason why context is very crucial to understanding.

Another example that jumps into my mind occurred over 2000 years ago. A young Teacher in his early thirties admonished his large group of excited followers to either pluck out their right eye, or chop off their right hand if they were ever going to reap the benefits of being His followers. I’m fairly certain that more than few eyebrows were raised after the Teacher made that profound statement.

Of course, I wasn’t there. I only read an account of the story.

The first time I read that historically documented event, I made the same mistake that the news media made when covering Donald Trump’s talk. I took the Teacher’s instructions out of context and it was no surprise that I was offended by the statement. I remember my throat going dry that day. I had heard that the Teacher’s Way was hard, but this was like nothing I expected.

Then a couple of days ago, I reread history. And this time, I didn’t forget to put the whole story into context. That was when I realized that 2000 years ago, the Teacher was not encouraging His followers to indulge in self-mutilation. Rather, He was teaching them something deeper.

Consider these statements:

1) James is my right-hand man, and;
2) I want James to be my eyes in the field

We make statements like these everyday without considering the people in question to be extensions of our body parts. Contrary to that, when we make statements like those I shared in the example, the picture painted in our minds is one founded in a very strong relationship. By calling James my right-hand man, it simply implies that I have cultivated a strong relationship with him such that I can depend on him for support when I need it. By going further to refer to James as my eyes in the field, I am implying that I have spent the time to build a relationship of trust with him.

That was what the Teacher was talking about so many years ago. In context, He was simply saying that to crystallize every drop of potential embedded within and around you, you would need to take proactive (and many times, drastic) measures. There’s no relationship that is worth you missing out on the fulfilment. That was why the Teacher made the then radical statement of severing ties with toxic relationships that serve as a lid to your potentials. If your right-hand man is comfortable with hanging out in the valley of life, it is better to chop off that right-hand man and climb up to the mountaintop. And your right eye? If all your right eye is seeing is impossibilities and limitations, it would serve you better to arrive at destiny without that eye, than to remain trapped in the realm of mediocrity.

Toxic Relationships Decrease With Increasing Value

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I remember my sophomore year as a college student. A dude looked at me with disgust written all over his face and told me point-blank: You have low self-esteem. I believed him. Moments later, he came to me and told me that he was joking. I didn’t believe him.

I didn’t know what I know now. Perhaps you are in the same shoes I found myself nearly 10 years ago. This is for you:

You are valuable and you have a great worth hidden with your very essence. There is a treasure hidden beneath your ordinary exterior appearance. The fact that you cannot see it does not make it less real. The key to placing a great value upon yourself is to have the knowledge of what you are carrying within you. As I have said time and time again, your behavior and character is determined greatly by your sense of identity. If you start seeing yourself as a person of value and worth, you would care about yourself, and you would pay attention to how you are treated in your relationships. You would be a man or woman on a mission. Your time would be more valuable to you and you would not waste it on things lacking in value. Your wisdom level will shoot up and you’d realize there is no virtue in regurgitating interactions with people who seek to undermine your true worth. You would actively seek out uplifting relationships where everyone is dominated by the doctrine of synergy. You would finally realize that nobody is created to be a floor mat to be trampled upon by others. No one was invited to lead a second-rate life. In addition, your sensitivity is heightened and you would be able to detct toxic relationships from a mile off. Because the estimation of your value is high, you are able to forgive yourself for putting yourself in a situation where you are abused emotionally (and even physically). You would also have the depth and capacity to be able to forgive your abuser(s). You would be able to eliminate resentment from your heart and rather spend time in having a clearer picture of your identity and worth.

Toxic Relationships Exert Power Over You

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For whatever reason that you are in the habit of cultivating toxic relationships, they are capable of influencing your life and altering the course of your destiny in the long run. This influence is not merely limited to the fulfilment of purpose. I’ve come across numerous research works that reported that toxic relationships are associated with high stress levels, high blood pressure, and even early mortality – yes, death! In another post, I talked about the Matthew Effect and how it helps the rich get richer, and the poor poorer. The interesting thing is that the Matthew Effect also applies to toxic relationships. People who are in the habit of forming healthy relationships and nipping toxic relationships in the bud are going to increase their chances of leading healthier and happier lives and vice versa. It’s nothing personal. It’s just one of the principles that governs how the world works.

The good news is that it is possible to reduce the influence of toxic relationships in your life. You know what these relationships are, and you know where they coming from. Your job now is to limit their access to you. The truth is that you do not need to give access to every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes along your path. This does not mean that you are arrogant or snobbish. Rather, it simply means that you know your value and your worth and you would not allow yourself to be commonized by toxic relationship. The value of gold and other precious minerals is found in their scarcity. Make yourself scarce to toxic people and you’d find toxic relationships dying a natural death.

Toxic Relationships Demand Uncomfortable Conversations

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As I mentioned in this post, the quality of your life is dependent on the amount of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have. We are all humans – flawed and imperfect. As a result of our differences in values and expectations, there is bound to be conflict in the course of our interactions with each other. Because of human’s natural affinity for self-preservation, when faced with conflict, our default tendency is avoidance. However, when conflict eventually arises in toxic relationships, it is a grave mistake to elect avoidance as a coping strategy. As an adult, it is responsible to engage in uncomfortable conversations and confront the status quo in whatever toxic relationships that you may find yourself. By taking responsibility and engaging in uncomfortable conversations, you would be able to know whether your next course of action is choosing the path towards conflict resolutions and subsequent reconciliation; or whether enough is enough, and it is time to limit the access of the sources of toxic relationships to you. By engaging in these uncomfortable conversations, you would gain more clarity on what your own values are and as a result, become stronger as an individual fully rooted in your identity.

Wisdom Shouts: How Good Ideas Are Effortlessly Created With Remarkable Predictability

Have you ever wondered how public speakers regularly come up with good ideas that are so deep, profound and thought-provoking?

Growing up, I remember coming across good ideas encapsulated in sayings such as:

“Your attitude determines your altitude.” , 

“If you do not know where you are going, people will lead you to where they are going”, and,

“Your location determines your allocation.”

While many of these thoughts forced me into reflection, they also created a desire to know how to come up with good and shareable ideas of my own.

Then one day, I received light in one of my blindspots concerning the origin of good ideas.

Someone had shared the story of how God spoke to the heart of a pastor stuck in traffic in one of Nigeria’s busier cities. Traffic lights were non-functional, and there were no traffic police around. As a result, chaos broke out. Horns blared and drivers hurled obscenities at each other. On that road, survival was the name of the game and only the toughest drivers escaped unscathed. Ultimately, in a manner of minutes, there was a total standstill as there were bottlenecks everywhere – caused by impatient drivers driven by selfishness and disregard for anyone but themselves. It was within this chaos that this pastor found the clarity in his heart to hear the following words:

Where there is no order, stagnation is bound to be the order of the day!

If you consider that statement, you’d realize that so much truth and practical value were packed into those few words. For instance, if you fail to put your finances in order – clearly separating out your income, expenses, liabilities and assets – it would only be a matter of time before you find yourself in a state of financial stagnation.

There is no doubt that God planted the seeds of this wonderful idea into this pastor’s heart. However, the same way seeds do not grow in the absence of other factors such as good soil, nutrients and water, good ideas would not thrive in the wrong environment. There were certain things that worked in the pastor’s favor, such that he was able to pick out the good idea in the midst of the stress and chaos that reigned supreme around him. While there are so many ways to skin a cat, I would be sharing three practical tips that you can use to consistently source good ideas.

Good Ideas Come From Seeing Everything Connected

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If someone gave you a gift of $100 and somewhere along the line you lost it, research has shown that you would not feel as hurt as you would if you lost $100 from your hard-earned money. In spite of the fact that we mentally acknowledge that a $100 bill has the same value, regardless of if it was given to us as a gift or as a part of our salary, we subconsciously appropriate different values to the different $100 bills depending on the circumstances that surround how we got the money in the first place. The process of compartmentalizing money into different categories based on how we feel about the money is referred to as mental accounting.

Unfortunately, our tendency to compartmentalize is not limited to money. We do the same thing in our relationship with God. We create “God time” in the morning and evenings where we pray and read the Bible in 30 minutes, while we live the remaining 23 hours and 30 minutes on our own terms without giving so much as a thought about God. We compartmentalize our lives and it is no surprise that we lead spiritually empty lives because we have learned to live so long away from the influence of the Source.

Interestingly, our tendency to compartmentalize is also one of the reasons why we find it difficult to get good ideas. Many of us fail to see the overlap between different bodies of knowledge and as a result, the probabilities of finding good ideas become slimmer than ever.

Here’s an example of a good idea I bent into a quote:

Everything reverts into a state of chaos. Order is enforced by power

– Promise Tewogbola

To get the first part of my quote, I borrowed from my limited understanding of the second law of thermodynamics as explained in physics and chemistry. In addition, I observed that any time I vacuumed my room and put it in order, it was only a matter of time before I found the need to clean the room again. This is because of the tendency for everything to fall into disrepair if left to be by itself. The second part of the quote was gotten from my realization that it took effort on my part to put my room back into order.

The more I thought about my quote, the more I realized that it was a pretty good idea that had practical value in the real world. For instance, if you are in a romantic relationship and you refuse to talk about issues in the relationship with your better half, it would only be a matter of time before chaos becomes the order of the day in that relationship. However, the moment you take the effort to engage in uncomfortable conversations with your partner, you would dramatically improve the quality of your relationship. The same thing happens when you are trying to keep fit. The fact that you worked had in the gym 5 months ago does not mean that you would be in shape 5 months from now. If you expend the time and effort to get in shape, only to rest your oars, you would find your shape reverting back into that initial state of ‘shapelessness’ and chaos. So, to keep in shape, you have to embrace personal power with yourself and expend the effort in beating yourself back into the image you desire.

Everything is connected in one form or the other. If you want to consistently find good ideas, stop compartmentalizing your life. Rather, approach life with the paradigm of connectedness. Make it your responsibility to find associations and applications that link seemingly diametrically opposed bodies of knowledge. You will be positively surprised by the sheer quantity and quality of the good ideas you churn in the long run.

Good Ideas Come to the Expectant Mind

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After being equipped with the paradigm of seeing everything connected, the next ingredient for sourcing good ideas is to have an expectation for them. The role that our expectations play in our lives cannot be overemphasized. While there are people who are conscious of the inter-relatedness of things, they are so many people who subconsciously believe that they are not smart enough to come up with good ideas. This pattern of thinking is not only toxic to good ideas, it is also capable of forcing people into mediocre existences because their expectations have been trained to work against them.

The truth is that your expectations determine your experiences.

If you know that everything is connected and you expect that one way or the other, you would find those associations, it is only a matter of time before you start seeing those associations.

There are different ways people activate their expectations towards good ideas. Some people have a thinking cap they wear whenever they want to come up with good ideas. Some other people have a thinking spot in their houses or somewhere in their towns where they regularly go to for good ideas. Personally, I take a two-legged approach. First, I try to stir curiosity in my mind. The person who felt that curiosity killed the cat made the wrong diagnosis. I am genuinely interested in learning new things because I know that a good idea can be birthed by virtue of my exposure to new information. Secondly, I try to move around with a small notebook that fits my pocket. That way, I have a physical way to show my expectation to come in contact with good ideas. And when the ideas do come, I am already equipped with the tools to capture them.

For all the flak that the law of attraction has received over the years, this is actually one area of your life where there are undeniable proofs that it works. If you consistently expect a good idea to come whenever you wear a stupid cap, it’s only a matter of time before that becomes your experience. If you continue to expect good ideas to come at you when you sit on a silly chair in your house, or you are in a particular corner in your city’s park, your expectations will not be cut short and in time, you will start experiencing the awe that accompanies good ideas. If you embrace a curious heart for novel ideas, you will experience them, and if you walk around with a notebook to capture good ideas, it’s only a matter of time before you start attracting them like ants to sugar.

Good Ideas Come When You Consistently Celebrate the Mundane

Many people associate good ideas with lightning and fireworks. Nothing can be further from the truth.

The good idea behind the quote – ‘Where there is no order, stagnation is bound to be the order of the day!‘ – came in the middle of terrible traffic. A part of the idea behind my quote – ‘Everything reverts into a state of chaos. Order is enforced by power’ – came from me observing how my room gradually became disorganized over time. If you live in a big city, you are likely going to find yourself in terrible traffic at some point and if you have a place where you live, it is likely that you have had to rearrange your room times without number. Yet, not many people would have been able to take advantage of the mundane routine in their lives to come up with good ideas.

The reason is simple. Many people are not present to the moment. And the number one reason why a lot of people are not present to the moment is because of fear. People are afraid of the past, the present, as well as the future. They have a constant fear of the unknown constantly humming in the back of their minds. They are worried sick about things that are either out of their control, or won’t matter once the facts are changed.

The moment you deliberately choose to be present to the moment and actively engage with the mundane events of day-to-day living, you separate yourself from the myriads of individuals walking with their minds miles and years away from their physical bodies. By so doing, you place yourself in an advantageous position where you are likely going to find a good idea that escaped the consciousness of every other person.

The Matthew Principle and Why The Rich Keep Getting Richer

Some days ago, I noticed that there was a lot of commotion on the Twitterverse. Apparently, a Nigerian-American novelist, Tomi Adeyemi had accused the prolific, serial best-selling author, Nora Roberts, of plagiarizing the title of her debut novel. They had both written a novel that had the words “Blood and Bones” in the title.

The social media storm on Twitter obviously increased the number of people interested in Tomi and her book. For instance, I know who Nora Roberts is, but I had no idea of who Tomi Adeyemi was before the controversy. As Robert Greene’s wrote in his book, The 48 Laws of Power, “Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious than the bland and timid masses”

However, the more I looked, the less likely it seemed that Tomi Adeyemi was merely trying to garner cheap attention. As fans of the two authors went back and forth on Twitter, I could not help but take a closer look at the 25-year-old Tomi Adeleye and her book.

I was mindblown by what I saw.

On Amazon, Tomi’s book had over 1500 mostly positive reviews, while on Goodreads, it had well over 10,000 mostly positive reviews. That’s absurd when you consider the fact that not everyone that buys a book leaves a review. It’s simply impossible to have so many positive reviews if the book itself is crappy.

Also, months before the controversy, a reputable company had paid Tomi Adeyemi seven figures to publish her novel, while another reputable company acquired the movie rights for the same book, reportedly paying her another seven figures!

She had also appeared many highly viewed shows such as The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Good Morning America, BBC What’s New, ABC 7 Chicago, amongst many others.

The more I researched her story, the more I realized that Tomi Adeyemi is a superstar in her niche and her remarkable journey to superstardom can be attributed to a principle called the Matthew Principle. In this post, I would be shedding more light on the Matthew Principle, as well as how you can make it work for you, rather than against you.

 

Understanding the Matthew Principle

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After telling the story of how the servant with the least talent lost his single talent to the servant with ten talents, Jesus made a remarkable statement that is both scary and profound in equal proportions.

Matthew 25:29 says,

“For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.”

In other words, those who already have enough would be given even more, while those who do not have enough would end up losing the little that they have. This is the essence of the Matthew Principle!

Take a look at the way the world we live in works and you’d see the Matthew Principle all around you.

The richest 85 people in the world have as much money as the poorest three and a half billion people in the world! Yet even more and more money continues to pour into the coffers of these privileged few.

In the United States alone, nearly a million and a half books are sold. Only 500 of these books will sell more than a hundred thousand copies. Furthermore, a good number of these books are written by people who have other books under their belts.

Let’s take the Matthew Principle even further:

The well-to-do typically have preferential access to the best kinds of food. They live in the best kinds of houses located in the best parts of the city. They have more people at their beck and call, looking for ways to earn their favors. They are more likely to meet and network with other successful people who would increase their chances for more success. As a result, they are calm and are capable of delaying present gratification because they have a confident expectation of abundance in the future. The odds are in their favor, and it will continue to be in their favor until something really dramatic happens.

On the other hand, those with low statuses endure poor living conditions. They are often hungry, and in the few instances where they have access to food, the food is usually of poor quality. Due to the fact that they eat unhealthy foods, they are in dire physical and mental conditions which makes them liable to age quickly and die early. Even though they need as much help as they can get, they are not likely to meet successful people. In fact, they are more likely to meet and network with other people with similar experiences as them. As a result, they are impulsive and jump at any opportunity for pleasure without any consideration for how disgraceful, illegal, or sub-par it might be. Again, the odds are stacked against them, and it will continue to be against them unless something dramatic happens.

Apparently, over time, both success and failure compound upon themselves.

The more successful you are, the more likely you are going to embrace opportunities that would make you even more successful. Conversely too, the more unsuccessful you are, the more likely you are to find a way to jeopardize your chances for success.

Does this mean that the Matthew Principle has permanently condemned you to whatever rung in the social ladder that you find yourself? No, of course not. As it stands, from my research and observations, there are two ways you might be able to make the Matthew Principle work in your favor.

 

Reciprocal Determinism and the Matthew Principle

Some time ago, I was finding it incredibly difficult to make the time to go down to the gym and work out as frequently as I wanted to. So, I bought myself a treadmill, positioned it in my room in such a way that it was the first thing I saw when I woke up in the morning. As a result, it became much easier to simply get up from my bed, take a few steps to my treadmill and work out.

This is a classic case of reciprocal determinism where my immediate environment can influence my behavior, while I can also manipulate my immediate environment to help me change my behavior.

To take this concept closer to improving your life, the easiest way you can manipulate your immediate environment is by investing in more books. Someone once said that a mind that has been stretched can never return to its original dimensions. As exercise and food are to the physical body, so is continuous self-improvement to the mind. You need to broaden your outlook on life by exposing your mind to other perspectives other than yours. This is why it is expedient for you to invest in books. Read wide on a broad variety of topics. Read deep on the topics that intrigue you. Read biographies. Read classics. Read business books. Read. Read. Read.

With time, you would find yourself developing an ever-expanding knowledge base that would be crucial in helping you identify associations and patterns that are oblivious to the remaining 90% of the population that do not read. Eventually, the Matthew Principle starts working in your favor, and you will start seeing the effects of your compounding knowledge in the quality of your thoughts, choices, decisions, relationships, and life in general. Who knows, you might even be the catalyst for change in your immediate social networks and physical environment if you keep going along this path.

However, if you grab the bull by the horns, there’s a more powerful way to take advantage of the Matthew Principle.

 

Your Location, Your Allocation and the Matthew Principle

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Going back to Tomi Adeyemi’s story, I discovered that there are times you need to do more than manipulate your immediate environment. Sometimes you need to physically change your environment by moving entirely different location.

And this is one thing that I noticed from Tomi Adeyemi’s story.

By making the decision to migrate from Nigeria to the US in the early 1990s, Tomi’s parents had dramatically improved the odds of Tomi becoming successful. In case you are unaware, the difference between living in a developed country and living in an underdeveloped country is like playing with two different slot machines. One of the slot machines is filled to the brim with $100 notes, while the other is filled with 25 cents. While it is possible to hit the jackpot and win all the coins in the 25 cents machine, the total winnings cannot be comparable to the winnings from a $100 machine. If you’re presented with the chance, it is a no-brainer to move from the 25 cents machine to the machine filled with $100 notes. And that’s exactly what happened with Tomi Adeyemi’s family.

Of course, the fact that Tomi Adeyemi was born in the United States does not mean that she just folded her arms and waited for the US system to bring all the good things to her. She had to develop herself and work hard. Eventually, the hard work paid off and she was admitted to Harvard University – one of the top five schools in the world. The last time I checked, the acceptance rate for Harvard was 6%. You can look at it this way: If 100 people applied for admission into Harvard, only 6 people would be accepted into the school! By implication, this means that only the best of the best can get into Harvard. So, when Tomi Adeyemi got into Harvard, her colleagues were the best students from high schools all over the US. In addition, because she was in Harvard, she got the best training from some of the best professors in the world. Imagine how Tomi Adeyemi’s physical and social environment influenced her thoughts and mentality for the 4 – 5 years she spent at Harvard. Imagine the opportunities she was exposed to, as well as the caliber of people she forged relationships with. It was only a matter of time before all the benefits of the Matthew Principle in her life led up to her writing a best-selling novel and getting a movie deal for the same book – all by the age of 25!

The truth is that your location will play a crucial role in determining your allocation from life. While you might not be able to migrate to a developed country like Tomi’s parents or get admitted into an Ivy League school like Tomi, you might be able to relocate to a bigger town or city. There are numerous benefits that living in a big city has over living in a smaller city. Seminars and other networking events are more likely to occur in a large city than in a remote village in the middle of nowhere. If you join the right groups and organizations, you are more likely to come in contact with life-changing information or industry secrets that would have never gotten to you if you embraced routine in your small town of 1000 people. Even if you are not able to change your physical environment, you can still change your social environment. In this day and age of social media, there are thousands and thousands of forums and groups on the internet that you can join to keep yourself in the loop where it counts.

Whichever method you decide to adopt, just ensure that you position yourself to get the best from the Matthew Principle.