The Aggregation of Marginal Gains and a 23-Year-Old Me

A lot of people are very familiar with the story of how I used to work for ₦30,000 (less than $100) in a month.

However, not many people are familiar with the circumstances that led to me leaving the job.

The truth is that while I was overworked and underpaid at my job at the time, I was also possessed with a business idea that I thought would churn out millions for me within weeks.

I had thought about this idea and recycled it within my mind.

I examined it from every angle and I could not find a way it could go wrong.

The more I thought about it, the more I could not wait to start executing it.

With this confidence, I resigned my job and jumped headfirst into the business that I had in mind.

Needless to say, I went through untold hardships and unnecessary difficulties.

I had been complaining that I was earning ₦30,000 (less than $100) in a month. Well, that changed, as I had to find a way to survive on ₦500 (less than $2) in a week!

Looking back, I am grateful to God for the lessons that I was able to glean from the experience. However, if I could turn back the hands of time, there are so many things I would have done differently.

The Principle of the Aggregation of Marginal Gains

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Many people think that success is a singular earth-shattering event that will become the talk of the town overnight. In my post 4 Powerful Ways To Create Your Own “Luck”, I talked about the Principle of Large Numbers. You might want to check out that post to see what that is about. In any case, the Principle of the Aggregation of Marginal Gains is very similar to the Law of Large Numbers.

You see, a secret of success is understanding that success is a process that is NOT going to happen overnight. Rather, success occurs as a result of showing up every day – regardless of whether you feel like it or not. Success occurs as a result of improving on a particular set of skills gradually and consistently. If you decide to improve on a particular skill by as little as 1% every single day, you would be better than at least 90% of other people who have that skill. Even mathematically, if you improve on a particular skill by 1% every single day of the year, you would be nearly 37 times better than your peers by the end of the year!

One of the reasons why I failed in my first business venture was that I violated the Principle of the Aggregation of Marginal Gains. There are so many skills that go into running a business successfully. You need to understand sales, marketing, product creation, branding, pitching, writing sales copies, among many other things. My failure to marginally improve on any of these segments of business meant that I was not ready to launch into business at the time when I did. And as a result, I got burnt!

The Mandela Effect and the Aggregation of Marginal Gains

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So, it is common knowledge that the great Nelson Mandela died on the 5th day of December 2013 at the ripe old age of 95. However, a lot of people remember the events very differently.

For instance, numerous people (in their thousands) thought that Nelson Mandela died in prison in the 1980s. In fact, many people could actually clearly remember seeing the news clips of his funeral, the mourning in South Africa, some rioting in cities, as well as the heartfelt speech by his widow.

But it was not true.

Mandela did not die in the 1980s.

He did not die in prison, in fact, he was once the president of South Africa – a feat he could not have achieved from the walls of a prison cell.

Yet, so many people have a vivid false memory of a real-world event!

Similarly, when a lot of successful people are sharing their success stories, they are quick to explain how they wrote a single post on social media that suddenly went viral. What they would not tell you is the hundreds and hundreds of articles that they shared online but no one read or liked.

I remember an acquaintance who was in a tight place financially and was in a desperate need of a job. When he eventually got the job he desired and people asked him how he got it, he said God gave him the job. Yes, I give God all the glory for the great things He has done in this brother’s life. However, I am also aware of the fact that this brother visited a particular office countless time before he got this miraculous job in the same office. He believed in God’s ability to work miracles. However, this brother did not fold his arms and sit in his house, expecting a phone call for a miraculous job. He had a deep understanding of the principle of the aggregation of marginal gains. This brother consistently put himself in the position of having uncomfortable conversations concerning a job. Yet, when it was time to recount the success story, the Mandela Effect set in and a number of people would definitely have been misled by his success story.

This reminds me of 1 Corinthians 15:10,

“But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.”

Paul recognizes the fact that God’s grace is superfluous and abundant in his life. However, he does not also trivialize the fact that he put in more work than the other apostles. He had an understanding of the principle of the aggregation of marginal gains. Grace is available to everybody, but since Paul put in more work, the grace manifested in his life was multiplied!

The next time you are seeing an advertisement on how you can quickly obtain a result without putting any effort in, look beyond the Mandela Effect and you would see the amount of effort you need to apply before you can get any result.

Looking back, I was probably shocked when I started facing difficulties in my business venture. All the self-help and entrepreneurship books had not explicitly stated that I would face difficulties. All they shared were the success stories of the bank accounts overflowing with dollar bills.

Just Keep Showing Up For Marginal Gains

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Ecclesiastes 11:6  says, “In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good.

In a previous post, The Commonly Overlooked Secret To Success That No One Is Talking About, I shared how the secret of success can be narrowed down to one thing: FOCUS. To expand on that concept, I would go on to say that success can be attained by focusing on improvement on one narrow field.

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would not have resigned from my ₦30,000 job. Since my business idea had not been validated at the time, it would have been unrealistic to expect my potential market to throw bucketloads of money at me. Rather, what I should have done was to focus on improving one aspect of the skills I needed to build a successful business. If I had kept on improving my copywriting or marketing skills, while also working at my job, I would have had both a steady source of predictable monthly income, while also becoming better at executing my business.

I know, on one hand, you can feel the calling of God burning a hole in your chest. You have that business idea that would not leave you alone. On the other hand, I know you are overworked and grossly underpaid at the place you are currently working. You cannot wait to quit your current job and unleash the potential you have within you.

Today, I offer you a third option: Keep working at your job AND keep improving on the skillsets you need to execute your God-given idea. Trust me, this option is not only the responsible thing to do as an adult, but it would also save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. You will also have the Principle of the Aggregation of Marginal Gains working in your favor, instead of against you

The First Thing You Need To Know About Habits

Like every other human out there, I have habits. While I am proud of some of these habits, I am not particularly proud of many others.

In fact, I had this very embarrassing habit that took me a while to shake off (And no, it is not the one that I wrote a book about). Let’s just say that I had a really strange case of pica. It so happened that whenever I drank water, be it from a plastic bottle or from a plastic sachet, I always ended chewing up either the cover or the plastic sachet itself. In fact, there was this day I was walking back from school and I had a sachet of water in my hands. Of course, by the time I was done drinking the water, I found myself chewing on the plastic material. Unknown to me, someone had been watching me go through the whole routine. Eventually, I saw her, but it was too late. I already had three-fourths of the sachet in my mouth!

Of course, since I’m a big boy now, I do not have that habit anymore!

So what changed? How did I make the transition from mindlessly chewing on plastics to being in a default state of not being tempted at all?

Keep reading and you’d be surprised at how much my simple discovery will transform every aspect of your life.

The Power of Planning for Pain on Habits

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Researchers once conducted an experiment to see how people were able to develop new habits. These scientists recruited 100 elderly men who had just gone through hip or knee replacement surgeries. Recovering from this specific surgical procedure can be a very painful process and the patients need to start moving their joints almost immediately after they wake up from the surgery. If they failed to do so, they might develop internal blood clots which may be life-threatening. However, since the surgery causes an extremely intense pain, the recovering patients are not particularly excited about staying mobile.

So, here’s what the researchers did: They gave each man a booklet where they would write down the specific ways that they were going to follow the doctors’ orders to stay mobile. For instance, they could write something like, ‘I am going to walk down Claire Street by 5:30 pm on Monday evening.’

At the end of 14 weeks, the researcher compared the recoveries of the men that wrote an action plan with those that did not write an action plan.

As you would imagine, the guys that wrote a plan were nearly three times more mobile than those who did not write down any goals. These men were walking faster, doing laundry, tying their shoelaces and even making their meals at the end of three months!

To the researchers’ credit, they did not stop at merely at claiming that writing down your goals will help you effortlessly start a new habit. I mean, come on! We all have goals we’ve written at some points in our lives which we failed to take any action on.

So, there was obviously something else that was common to all the men that had written a plan.

As the researchers delved into the booklet of each patient that had written a goal, they discovered an amazing trend.

You see, all the men that had written down their goals had also anticipated the hindrances that would have prevented them from being mobile. And not only that, but they also had an action plan of what to do when they eventually faced that hindrance. For instance, some men anticipated that they would feel an excruciating pain in the days after the surgery anytime they wanted to stand up. So, they planned, long before they actually felt the pain, that whenever they stood up, they would immediately take that first step, rather than sitting back down to ease the pain.

The men who succeeded could do so because of two things. First, they anticipated pain before the pain came, and then, most importantly, they made a plan of what to do when the pain eventually came. As a result, they were able to endure the pain and reap the benefits of staying mobile over the cause of 14 weeks.

Daniel’s Plan For Pain

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For a while, I have been looking for teachings from the Bible on specific instructions for creating good habits. I really had a difficult time finding Bible characters who had poor habits, made tweaks, and then developed healthy habits.

Then I was studying my Bible the other day and came across the story of Daniel in Daniel 1:8, 12,

‘But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank…Prove thy servants, I beseech thee, ten days; and let them give us pulse to eat, and water to drink.

Like in the experiment for the surgery dudes, long before he was faced with the temptation of defiling himself with the pagan king’s delicacies, Daniel had already purposed in his heart.

Long before he was confused by the smell of grilled meat sacrificed to idols, Daniel had already developed an action plan of eating pulses and water.

As a result, when he was eventually in a situation where he could not escape being around the king’s meals, it was easy for Daniel to resist the temptation and simply focus on the alternatives he had created for himself.

And herein lies the secret first step to creating very powerful habits: You need to make a plan of action long before you are faced with the temptation to fall into bad habits. 

In my embarrassing habit of chewing on plastic sachets and covers, I needed to create a plan of what to do with the cover/sachet long before I even had it in my hand. Since I knew I had the habit of wanting to chew something after drinking water, I got myself an alternative in the form of chewing gum. So, as soon as I was done drinking water, I threw the plastic cover/sachet into a nearby trashcan and simply chewed gum instead!

This is so simple, yet it has the potent capacity to turn your life around dramatically.

Do you find it difficult to create the time to meditate? How about creating a plan for using the chunk of time it takes you to drive from your house to your office.

Are you finding it difficult to get out of bed early? How about using the same tune for both your calls and your alarm.

Regardless of whatever situation you may find yourself, there is always a way of escape. You only have to plan for it before you have a need for it.

4 Lessons I learnt From Taking 1352 Cold Showers

Growing up, I remember my mom getting up very early to boil water for my younger brother and I to take our baths. At some point in high school, I stopped doing warm baths. Looking back, it was probably because I was lazy since I would have needed to get up earlier to boil the water myself.

For all my bravado regarding using cold water, it’s funny how I was never tempted to use it during the cold harmattan season. Motivating myself to take my bathto use warm water was a big challenge back then. Numerous times, I considered just snuggling on my bed and not bathing altogether.

Okay. At times, maybe I actually didn’t bath.

So, you can imagine my surprise when, in my sophomore year, a colleague recommended taking cold showers to shake off the morning harmattan cold.

Boy, did it work!

Since then, (with a few exceptions, like the week when I moved into my new apartment and used scalding hot water to shower because I didn’t know better!), I have been taking my bath with cold water and it has been working wonders. In fact, I have been able to pick out a couple of lessons that I gleaned from my cold shower sessions.

Let’s dive in.

Cold Showers Cause Good Discomfort 

If you are serious about learning and growing to be a better person, you have to be willing to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. A lot of people hear this and the next thing they think about is quitting their jobs or taking one big risk!

It doesn’t work that way.

You have to get accustomed to accumulating smaller victories before going all out to catch the big fishes.

And do you know one way you can start doing that?

That’s right, by taking cold showers.

You see, by taking your bath with cold water, you are conditioning yourself to have patience and endurance. You are learning how to get out of your comfort zone, albeit in a small way.

Let me be clear here: Cold showers are not part of the formula needed to fulfill the purpose and destiny that God has assigned to you. Rather, you will need to stretch outside your comfort zone. And to do this effectively, you will need to patiently endure the discomfort that comes with stretching.

Taking cold showers in the morning is one of the best and safest ways you can be accustomed to the discomfort that accompanies stretching to new terrains.

What’s The Worst Thing That Can Happen When You take Cold Showers?

I can assure you that in a typical day, there’s nothing that would be worse than taking a cold shower every morning…especially when the weather is cold!

So, why would I recommend it?

Simple. Because it is the worst thing that would happen to you that day!

When you take a cold shower in the morning, your body doesn’t like it. In fact, every cell in your body would cringe in revolt like water on a hot pan of oil. In the first few seconds, your skin will be like that of gooseflesh with bumps covering every square inch. You would probably yell like a soprano singing off-key.

Your body cells do not like the feeling of a cold shower and at that moment you are bathing, your brain sets this experience as the baseline for the worst feeling you would ever experience that day. This is why if you are faced with a tough assignment on the day you take a cold shower, your brain would ask, ‘Is this as bad as taking a cold shower?’. Nine times out of ten, the answer will be ‘No!’ and you will be able to summon up the willpower and motivation needed to go far with the task at hand.

Cold Showers Can Rewire You For Crushing Limitations

Since I take cold showers, I brag about it a lot. I know it’s not a virtuous behavior, but which hunter kills an elephant and carries it home through the back door?

Anyways, when the topic comes up, a number of my acquaintances tell me that they CAN’T take cold showers. Not WON’T (i.e., not willing to) but CAN’T (not able to)! When I hear this, I start wondering: Do these people have a medical condition preventing them from touching cold water?

The excuse that is often given for not taking cold showers is the idea that they will make you fall ill. Actually, cold showers will make you less likely to fall ill. The only things that can make you fall ill are disease-causing organisms called pathogens. Cold showers reduce uric acid levels while boosting glutathione levels in your blood. The overall effect? Less stress and a general feeling of well-being.

Elementary science stuff.

Here’s the thing: When you take cold showers, you begin the process of conditioning yourself to have a limitation-challenging mindset. As I’ve said before, the body hates cold showers and if you try to rationalize with it, you will get myriads of reasons why you shouldn’t take cold showers. However, you need to realize that you are not under the control of your body. Rather, your body is under your control! You are its boss and you need to stand your ground and tell it what to do.

Developing this habit is crucial because once you are able to rise above the limitations that your own body is suggesting to you, every other kind of limitation is reduced to dust.

Cold Showers Can Aid Proper Breathing

Despite the fact that I am already a pro at cold showers, this is a part that I still struggle with a bit.

The truth is that a lot of us have forgotten how to breathe properly. Take a look at the way a baby breathes when it’s asleep. Notice how they breathe deeply and contentedly.

Sadly, as we grow older, we grow accustomed to taking short and shallow breaths.

When you take short and shallow breaths, your body starts anticipating stress and as a result, there is a spike in your cortisol levels. On the other hand, when you breathe like a baby, your body tells itself that everything will be alright and you are able to relax.

When I take cold showers, I normally gasp at the first impact of cold water on my skin. However, with each passing moment, I spend under the cold water, I am able to convert the gasping into deliberate deep breathing. As a result, when I am done showering I feel relaxed and cheerful.

The benefit of this? By practicing how to deep breathe during cold showers, you will be able to teach yourself to calm down deliberately, especially during stressful moments that you may encounter during the course of your day.

4 Powerful Ways To Create Your Own “Luck”

The year was 2014 and I was in Bayelsa State, Nigeria.

In my place of work at the time, I was part of about 20 people selected to undergo a training that would equip me with the skills needed to be part of a medical outreach team for 5 days. I was going to be paid for partaking in the training and also for being a part of the outreach.

Well, the script did not actually pan out that way.

First, due to a blackout in my neighborhood, I was unable to charge my phone. This meant that I was clueless about the venue of the training. Of course, this led to me missing the training – as well as the payment that came with it. And because I didn’t take part in the training, I was unqualified to be a part of the outreach.

Then, to add salt to the injury, the coordinator of the medical outreach was totally inflexible. His stone heart did everything in his power to ensure that I would not be a part of the outreach. Boy, did he succeed!

As I headed back home that day, with my arms drooping like the dried fronds of a palm tree, different thoughts raced through the contours in my brain:

What kind of head do I have?

Why was I the only one that didn’t get the venue for the training?

Why did my phone decide to die at such a crucial period?

Why do I always have ‘bad luck’?

It’s funny how the mind has the uncanny ability to turn the minutest of things into a hot-air ballon. My isolated incidence of ‘bad luck’, was already starting to be perceived as a reoccurring incidence by that soft, white lump of tissue between my ears. Little did I know that being rejected from that medical outreach team was probably the best thing that could happen to me at the time. Within the space of about 2 days, I got a part-time offer with a far better remuneration that lasted nearly two years.

And here’s the funniest thing: I would have missed this opportunity if I had been allowed to be a part of the medical outreach!

Do you think I still felt I had bad luck?

It’s funny how the narrative changes when the facts are changed!

There may be a couple of you thinking the whole world is set up to work against you. You might be asking yourself questions such as:

Why me?

Why always me?

Which kind of ‘bad luck’ do I have?

Well, I’ve got good news for you: You CAN create your own ‘luck’. In the next few paragraphs, I will be sharing FOUR ways you can do just that.

Acknowledging The Truth About You Can Help You Create Your Own Luck

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I know I probably sound like a broken gramophone record now, but it bears repeating: You need to see yourself the way God sees you!

If you are totally blind to what you have within you, it will be impossible to walk in the fullness of your powers. This, in turn, will make you feel as though the odds are stacked against you, and ultimately, you’d lead a mediocre life. All you need for a successful life is not outside you. It’s within you. The sooner you recognize this, the faster you will create your own ‘luck’.

Let me share a little insight with you from Genesis 2:7,

“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”

Some years ago, I did a study on the original Hebrew words that were used to express the phrase I boldened above. The original Hebrew word that is translated as “breathed” literally means “to inflate”. In other words, Jehovah God Himself inflated you like a balloon with His breath.

And it even gets better.

The term translated as “breath of life” literally means “raw, strong, and fresh Divine Inspiration”. By implication, this means that within you, you’ve got the raw, strong and fresh Divine Inspiration from God Himself. The only reason you’re a living soul is that God has put in you a part of the very Essence that makes Him God!

You are carrying God within you and you have no need to fear.

You are carrying God within you and you should be afraid of nothing.

You are carrying God within you and you are not permitted to be a victim of circumstance.

You are carrying God within you and you should be able to step into any situation and dictate how things should proceed.

The more conscious you are of the Truth about you, the more easily you should be able to write and create your own luck!

Doing What You Hate Can Help You Create Your Own Luck

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In motivational circles, the talk eventually winds up to the point where the speaker challenges his captive audience to do what they love and follow their passions. While I am all for that, in my humble opinion, I believe the better advice would be to tell people to do what they hate!

I will explain.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote the following statement on my Facebook wall:

“The quality of your life will to an extent be determined by the number of uncomfortable discussions you are willing to have”.

I wrote this because the most common things that people easily shy away from are uncomfortable conversations

Take a look at the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32 and you’d find a person that was willing to have uncomfortable conversations.

The Prodigal Son was able to ask his father for the portion of his inheritance in the first place because of his attitude concerning uncomfortable conversations. (Disclaimer: Now, I’m not advocating for riotous living or rebellion against constituted authorities! Rather, I’m pointing you to the kind of attitude that the Prodigal Son had). It didn’t end there. After he had spent all his money and was already languishing in drought and poverty, he was again willing to have that uncomfortable discussion with his Father.

Contrast the Prodigal Son’s attitude with that of the Older Brother in verses 29 and 30.

“And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.”

Clearly, the Older Brother had a problem of entitlement. There was nothing stopping him from walking up to his Father and asking for a goat that he could cook and share with his friends. His Father said that much in verse 31. “And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.” In essence, all I have left had always been yours!

The Older Brother strikes me as someone who might have had these lines of thought concerning his younger brother:

Lucky bastard, he always gets what he wants! [When the Prodigal Son asked for his share of the inheritance]

Lucky bastard, Daddy has accepted him back again, after everything he has done! [When the Prodigal Son came back home]

Anytime you do what you hate, especially through the uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have, you increase options for yourself. And the more options you have, the more luck you create!

The guy who is overworked and underpaid may do two things. He may decide to have that uncomfortable conversation with his boss or potential employers, or he may stay put in the same place and hope –  like the Older Brother –  that his patience would pay off. If he does the first and his salary is reviewed or he’s employed elsewhere, the rave reviews will start flowing in about how lucky he is. And if he chooses to play safe and goes with the second option, he will continue to lament about the hard hands that life has dealt him.

The more uncomfortable conversations you have, the more options you have; the more options you have, the more luck you create!

The Law Of Large Numbers Can Enable You Create Your Own Luck

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For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.” (Proverbs 24:16)

If you want to create your luck, you must be ready to fail numerous times.

The Bible says a just man will fall seven times and then he will rise up again. Numerous people are unwilling to fall once, let alone seven times. Yet, they want to have the results of the just man. It is impossible to have the same results if you disobey the principle behind the result!

Some months ago, I took a course in Statistics and one of the Laws that struck me right across the face was The Law Of Large Numbers.

In simple terms, the law states that the number of successes increases as the number of experiments increases.

Here’s an example that explains how it works:

Suppose you were told to flip a coin. For the purpose of this analogy, let’s assume that ‘Head’ means ‘Win’ and ‘Tail‘ means ‘Lose’.

To make it even more interesting, let’s assume that the first time you flipped the coin, you got ‘Tail’.

Does this mean you are a failure?

Does this mean you are unlucky?

You are probably going to feel apathetic because deep down within you, you know that every coin flip has two outcomes – ‘Head’ or ‘Tail’.

Let’s go a step further with this.

What if I told you that flipping ‘Head’ will fetch you one million…dollars?! And you have TEN chances to flip ‘Head’ in order to win the one million dollars.

Would you keep on flipping the coin? Or would you just toss the coin once, get ‘Tail’ and then blame yourself for having bad luck?

The truth is that the more you flip the coin, the better your chances of getting a ‘Head’!

We actually did the calculations in class and we found that if you flip a coin just once, you have a 50% chance of getting a ‘Head’; but if you flip the coin 10 times, the probability of getting a ‘Head’ increases to a whopping 99.4%!!!

Here’s the thing: Failing doesn’t mean that you are a failure or that you have bad luck. It only means you have figured out an aspect of your action plan that is not working.

Get back up on your feet, dust yourself and keep on flipping!

In Summary….

God did not create you to be a dud. He did not design you for bad luck. In fact, He has already given you ALL you need to pen down and create your own luck.

Today, start acknowledging the truth about what God has loaded you with.

Today, take a step of faith and endeavor to have that uncomfortable conversation that would make your palms all sweaty.

Today, keep on flipping the coin and let the law of Large Numbers work in your favor.

Today, quit watching porn and masturbating and watch your social interactions create your luck for you.

God bless you!

The Power of The Christian Subconscious Mind

Are you a Christian that is being buffeted by the cares of this life?

Are you feeling overwhelmed with worries, bills and the challenges of life?

What if I told you that you had no real problem.

What if I told you that you had no other problem, but a consciousness problem?!

What if I could prove it to you – right here, right now?

Introduction

In what has to be one of the saddest statements of Jesus ever recorded in the Bible, He said,

“…for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light” (Luke 16:8).

As believers, we are the children of Light – but Jesus laments over us because the children of this world are living much better than we are.

This shouldn’t be so.

The very word ‘Christian’ means that we are like Christ!

It means that we are ‘little’ Christs.

Do you really think that if Jesus was physically present on earth today, He would be overwhelmed with bills, illness, worries and challenges of life?

Of course not!

Jesus knew who He was.

He knew where He was from and He knew where He was going. He knew the essence of who He was!

So, why is the experience of many believers so different from that of our Model – Jesus Christ?

It’s really simple!

We do not not know who we are.

When you possess an understanding of your identity, it influences the kinds of thoughts you have; which in turn influences the kind of words you speak; which in turn influences the kind of actions you take; which in turn would ultimately influence your character and the results you get out of life.

Understand this: Until we can get a fuller picture of who we are, as believers, we would keep on having challenges in this side of reality.

So, who are we then?

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First, let’s practice some First-Principles Thinking.

This is how the Bible describes our Heavenly Father:

God is Spirit, and all who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and truth (John 4:24)

If God is Spirit and we are made in His Image and Likeness, what does that make us?

We are spirits too!

1 Thessalonians 5:23 says, I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.’

Man is a tripartite being – He is a spirit, possessing a soul and living in a body.

Efforts have been made to try to explain this mystery in other fields.

For instance, in psychoanalysis, the tripartite nature of man is expressed as superego, ego and id.

In quantum physics, it is expressed as matter, energy, and antimatter

In terms of space, it is referred to as here, there, and the space within

In terms of streams of consciousness, we have: conscious, unconscious and subconscious.

Nowadays, the term ‘subconscious mind’ is being thrown around with careless abandon.

But we know what it means.

The subconscious mind is the real you.

The real you is what is created in the likeness of God.

Your subconscious mind is your spirit!!!

Your spirit is the real you.

God’s Plan for Your Spirit

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To understand the import of this reality, we need to take a trip back to where it all began.

When God created man, man was created to be in God’s class of being.

Man was made in the image and likeness of God.

To make man, God had to breathe out a portion of Himself into man.

And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” (Genesis 2:7)

As in, He took off His very Essence and Being – the very Nature that made Him God.

God took that and inflated man with it.

Consequently, Man became a bundle of God’s raw, fresh and Divine Inspiration.

Man was made to be like God.

He could think like God.

He operated like God, manifesting the very wisdom of God.

What’s more, God gave man absolute and total dominion over everything that was on earth.

Little wonder the Bible says in Psalms 82:6,

‘I have said, ye are gods; and all of you are children of the Most High…’

And to show you that the above statement was not a mistake, Jesus repeated the same words again,

‘…ye are gods…’ (John 10:34)

Man was created to be god on earth.

He was created to exercise dominion and authority here on earth.

Genesis 1:28 says, ‘And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion…’

If you look at the trend of things, despite being in a fallen state, man has somehow been able to exercise his God-given mandate to rule and dominate.

Man has been able to make wonderful innovations and inventions.

He has been able to create beautiful works of art and cure previously incurable illnesses.

Man has been able to dig deep into the heart of the earth and find mineral resources to improve the quality of his life.

Man has also been able to extend his influence beyond the earth through space exploration.

Man was created to have dominion and not to be dominated.

Yet so many believers are living mediocre lives, being dominated instead of exercising dominion.

Many believers are living far below what God had in mind when He created them.

Little wonder God would say we ‘…all have…come short of the glory of God’ (Romans 3:23)

Things go downhill for man

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After the Fall, man’s spirit became degenerate. In other words, his spirit was cut off and totally separated from God’s life. In short, man’s spirit man was dead!

Today, the fallen man’s spirit is still there, but it’s as good as it’s no longer there because it cannot function the way God had designed it to function.

Because of all these, mankind learned to become sensual, carnal – living solely through his five senses. He was totally unable to contact the depths of the spiritual realm.

The spiritual realm is the causal realm from which all things are created.

2 Corinthians 4:18 says,

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal’

The only way you can look at something that cannot be physically seen is through the spirit.

Unfortunately, the fallen man’s spirit was dead, and he could only catch glimpses of the spiritual realm via trial and error as he yielded himself to God. This explains how inventions, works of art and some form of creativity could still be exhibited by man in the fallen state. By trial and error, man could draw out of the spiritual realm and reproduce imperfect versions in the physical realm.

Then Jesus entered the picture…

Here’s what Jesus came to do on earth:

He came to restore mankind back to the life of God.

Consider Ephesians 2:1-6,

‘And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus

If you are a believer in Christ, your spirit man (or subconscious mind) has been quickened, regenerated and renewed!

It has already been restored back to the state Adam’s spirit was before the fall!

Your spirit man is just like Jesus (check out Ephesians 4:24).

Isn’t that awesome?

So, while unbelievers look at the state of man before the fall and start having wishful thinking about how bad things have gone since the original sin; you as a believer, can look back at the state of man before the fall and start to thank God for the state that Jesus Christ has restored you to!

Glory to God!!!

But there’s still another problem

Why is it that despite the fact that we have been restored back to the life of God in our spirits, we still seem to live the kind of ordinary, mediocre lives?

Why is it that we are still existing in far below the glory that God has bestowed upon us, when it is a fact that, right now, we are exactly like Jesus?!

Wow! Now, a lot of eyes are rolling at that question.

Perhaps you are thinking: Me? Like, Jesus? Seriously?

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I don’t have time for arguments.

1 John 4:17 says,

‘Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the Day of Judgment: because, as He is, so are we in this world

That is very profound.

The Bible did not say, ‘as He was while on this earth, so are we in this world’

You know, it would surely have been awesome and quite fulfilling for many of us to find out that we can live the same way that Jesus lived while He was on earth. After all, He raised the dead, healed the sick, made the maimed whole, preached the gospel far and wide…

But that isn’t what 1 John 4:17 is saying.

Look again,

‘…as He is, so are we in this world’

That is in the present continuous tense!

It means that as Jesus Christ is right now, that is the same way that we – as believers – are in this world.

So, the question now is this: How is Jesus Christ right now?

For one, Colossians 1:15 says that Jesus is the Image of the Invisible God. So, by inference, we also are the image of the invisible God!

Why?

‘…as He is, so are we in this world’

This truth has the potential to revolutionize your life.

And I’m not even started!

You know, when Philip asked Jesus to show Him the Father, do you remember Jesus’ answer?

‘…he that hath seen me, hath seen the Father’ (John 14:9)

Jesus was saying in essence that if one looked at His words, His actions, His deeds, He clearly mirrored the Father.

Little wonder 2 Corinthians 3:5 tells us that we ‘are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ’

This simply means that if any unbeliever has any doubts about how Jesus is, such a person should just look at me!

Why?

‘…as He is, so are we in this world’

See, the truth is that as a born again believer with the Holy Spirit resident within you, you are like-for-like, ounce-for-ounce, pound-for-pound exactly like Jesus Christ.

You have the mind of Christ (1Corinthians 2:16, Philippians 2:5)

You have His Spirit, and you’re One Spirit with Him (Galatians 4:6, 1 Corinthians 6:17)

You have His Nature (2 Peter 1:4)

You are joint-heirs with Him, having the same access to the Father that Christ has (Romans 8:17, 29)

You have His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21)

All these are your real reality!!!

So, if that’s your real reality in the realm of the spirit, why are you still having problems living from the wealth embedded within your very being?

You are not looking in the mirror

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The reason you still live the same kind of ordinary life you lived before you got saved is because you have an identity problem!

You see, after spending so long living from the soul (i.e., your five senses, your will, your emotions, and intellect) before we came to know Christ, we had already been so used to having the soul in the driver’s seat of our lives. As a result, even when we now have quickened spirits reconnected to the life and nature of God, we still do not know how to live from the wealth in our spirits.

Take note that the problem has changed from being separated from God to being ignorant of the wealth within us.

And there is only one reason why you are ignorant of who you are in the spirit: You are not looking into the mirror.

Look at 2 Corinthians 4:18,

‘But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord’

The glass/the mirror reflects the image that is standing before it!

So, if you are seeing the glory of God in the glass, it’s because YOU are then glory of God standing in front of the glass!

What then is the mirror? You may ask.

Let’s check out James 1:23-25,

‘For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass. For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightaway forgetteth what manner of man he was. But whoso looketh unto the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man is blessed in his deed’

Many of us look into a physical mirror for so long in the morning. And any little chance we have to pass by any reflective glass, we step by it to assess our looks, our dressing, our accessories, and all. Now if any chance comes and we are asked to describe how we look, it is not difficult for us to do so, despite the fact that we are not seeing ourselves at the moment?

Why?

Simple. We have gazed at so many reflections of ourselves all day long and we know how we look.

The same thing applies in the spiritual realm.

The spiritual mirror is the Word of God.

The text we just read tells us that if a man hears the word and does not do it, such person is like an individual who has gazed at himself in a mirror and then forgotten what he looked like.

The thing is that many people have heard or read about these things that I’m sharing with you now. But they do not see the manifestation of it in their lives because they refuse to believe in the mirror of the Word that they have just heard. These people have gazed at the Mirror of the Word only briefly and have forgotten the kind of person that they are.

For instance, do you know that since you are born of God, you can never run out of options and be stranded in life?

Try telling that to a carnally minded believer.

But it is a basic truth of the Word!

1 John 2:20 says,

‘But ye have an unction from the Holy One, and ye know all things.’

We are born of God and we have an unction from the Holy Spirit. The verse did not say, ‘you know some things’. No! It says, ‘you know ALL things’. You don’t have the ability to be confused, stranded or at a loss. It is no longer in real your nature to do so.

That is so profound.

Now, when you tell a believer such truth, he is gazing at the Mirror of the Word at that moment, and he is excited at the truth that he cannot be stranded.

But just give the typical believer a day or two, and you’d find him battling with the same challenges he or she should be triumphing over.

You know why?

Such believer has forgotten the manner of man that he was!

This is because he has refused to check himself in the Mirror of the Word to see who he really is in the God’s sight.

You need to remember who you are, by gazing into the Mirror of God.

Remember who you are…

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The word ‘remember’ comes from two root words, ‘re-’ and ‘-member’.

So, when you are ‘re-membering’, you are in essence reassembling and reconjuring every member that constitutes you into your mainstream of consciousness!

You have to look into the mirror of the Word of God and have the faith that the description you find is accurate. You need to experience yourself as who you are in Christ – in God!

God’s Words are infallible. You’ve got to produce and manifest what God has declared the real you to be in the mirror of the Word

When you look at a physical mirror, do you disagree with the image you see reflected because you don’t feel that’s the way you should look?

Of course not! You have absolute faith that the mirror is showing you the accurate description of who you are in the physical. The same applies in the spirit!

You have to have the absolute faith that the mirror of the Word is the accurate description of who you are in the spiritual realm.

The more you gaze at the mirror of the Word, the more you see yourself in the light of who you have been created to be.

When you gaze into the mirror of the word continually, you find out that you were designed to walk over sin, sicknesses, temptations, precarious circumstances, challenges of life and yes – the devil!

Once you constantly gaze upon the mirror of the Word, you’d realize that the way you think starts to change.

Romans 12:2 says,

‘…be transformed by the renewing of your mind’

Many are not living at the highest versions of themselves possible.

It is impossible for this to be so when you have not elevated your perception of reality from just what you can sense with your five senses.

It is until you change the way you think in the light of who you are in Christ that you would find your actions and deeds the following suit to conform to your spiritual reality.

Let’s look at 2 Corinthians 3:18 again,

‘But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord’

Note the phrase, ‘…are changed into the same image from glory to glory…’

I have said it before, and I am saying it again. You do not have any other problem but an identity and consciousness problem!

The more you gaze at the mirror of the Word of God, the more the way you think changes.

The more the way you think changes to conform to the realities of your spirit man as described by the Word of God, the more you manifest the glory of God – which is who you are in the Spirit.

The more you manifest the glory of God physically, the more victory you would experience over sin, sickness, poverty, lack and whatever the devil throws at your path.

So, stop living unconsciously.

Get this: It’s man’s second nature to live unconsciously; but it is his first nature to be spiritually conscious!

You have now been armed with the tools that would set you on the path to the best days of your life yet.

Speak, think and act as the God on your inside!!!

From Forgetting Purses To Walking In Deep Freezers: Unveiling One Secret Sauce That Powers The Habit Engine

Early in the year, I made up my mind to eat healthier and lose the layers of fat that had been building on my tummy like highly motivated bricklayers racing to get a house completed before the rainy season.

So, when I decided to put together the You Too Can Be Free 30-Day Freedom Challenge at the beginning of the year, I was also an avid participant.

Was it fun?

It sure was. As much fun as walking down to the market, only to discover that you forgot your purse. That’s definitely a situation you want to avoid. Particularly if you had to walk for 5 kilometers down in the first place and have no food at home!

And in my case, the easy option would be to quit going to the gym and snuggle in my warm cozy bed instead. This thought always crossed my mind because there were times I needed to walk 15 minutes to the gym in subzero temperatures. By the way, I’m talking about subzero temperatures in Fahrenheit. In case you cannot visualize that, I would say it’s like having an ant walk through a deep freezer. There were times when I totally lost all forms of feelings in my hands as I walked down to the gym in the cold weather. Believe me, it was that serious!

Yet, I kept on going to the gym. Again and again. Day after day. Week after week.

So, what was my staying power?

What kept me going even when I did not feel like doing going for it and would rather lie in bed in my heated room like roasted corn, or grilled beef?

The answer is GRIT

Grit can be defined as the passion and perseverance you have to achieve long-term goals. The researchers (Angela Duckworth and her colleagues) that popularized the concept went to the United States Military Academy, popularly known as West Point, to find out what would happen to a group of 1200 cadets who were just admitted. The Academy subjected the new students to a grueling seven-week program where they had to work in the classroom and on the field for 17 hours, every single day. Naturally, many of the students dropped out of West Point within those first few weeks and researchers observed that the differentiating factor between the students that endured the grueling seven weeks, and those that dropped out could be attributed to grit.

Without grit, trying to kick-start another habit might just end up being an exercise in futility.

I get it, Grit is important. How can I get it?

Discover Your Identity

I remember when I started on my journey to a healthier body, I had a picture of my ideal body weight and stature in my mind. As far as I was concerned, the “future me” was the “real me”, and all I was trying to do in the present was to attain that “future me”. Once this aspect was settled, it became very easy to settle into the exercise routines that I knew that the “future me” would have engaged in.

The truth remains that you really do not have a grit problem, or perseverance and passion problem. You have an identity problem. Once you get your identity sorted out, your actions would naturally follow.

For instance, Daphna Oyserman and her colleagues discovered that students who saw themselves as having successful “future selves” working in large organizations and corporations were more likely to do well in their school work. The researchers also discovered that the converse was the case too. Students who did not see themselves working in large corporations (those who saw themselves as successful artists and musicians in the future) felt that they did not need school to succeed, and naturally, it reflected in their academic performance. We see the same play out in our day-to-day interactions. For instance, the Igbo people of Nigeria have embraced the identity of enterprise and commerce and, as a result, it is hard to find an Igbo man that does not have an affinity for buying and selling.

I share more about identity in “The Secret To Overcoming Temptations” and “The Power of The Subconscious Mind”

Cultivate A Liking For The Mundane

I have alluded to this earlier.

Working out is like listening to a badly told joke. It is so boring.

I do not get goose pimples when I am lifting the weights or jogging on the elliptical.

So, how do I keep going?

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, once remarked, ‘Whatever it is that you want to do, you’ll find out that if you’re not passionate about what it is you’re working on, you won’t be able to stick with it’.

True words. Except for the fact that there are mundane sides to the things we are passionate about.

The truth is that every individual who has manifested grit in their lives can point to some aspects of their routine that they do not like at all. Yet, because their interest is fixed on the bigger picture, they are able to stick with the mundane and attain their goals.

In numerous areas of my life, I have found that I need to develop an interest in the boring, but the essential stuff in order to get the best out of it. Do you think I was smiling all the way, as I spent time gathering my thoughts and researching for my first book “You Too Can Be Free”? The same goes for working out. It is boring, but each day that I work out brings me closer to the ideal “future me” that I continue to see in my mind’s eye. Everybody wants to be a Joshua, but they forget the boring 40 days that he spent on Mount Sinai, while God was talking to Moses (Exodus 24:13). Everybody wants to be a Joseph, but they forget that he spent 13 boring years in prison.

If you want to grow your grit, you need to embrace the mundane.

Start Depositing Into Your Power-Up Account

Many times, I believe there are numerous life lessons that can be gleaned from a video game.

In a game like Temple Run, once you accumulate enough coins, you are able to power-up and increase the range of moves that you can execute in the game. However, it would be virtually impossible to upgrade if you spent the better part of the game avoiding the coins.

One of the things that keep me going is the realization that I would not attain the buff “future me” body in the next 24 hours. However, there are intermediate milestones (see, another game term!) that I would have to attain before I get to my desired destination. And because I want to attain these intermediate goals too, I keep on persevering through the cold mornings and boring workouts.

When you possess a love for the process, you are bound to progress. When you resist the urge to be complacent, you continue to accumulate “Power-Up” coins that would ultimately be converted to the desired goal you wish to see.

Expect To See Change

The quality of your life in the present is associated with the quality of the decisions you made in the past. The good news is that the quality of your life in the future can be affected by the quality of your actions in the present. I do not know about you, but I think it is refreshing to know that I am not condemned to be fat and shapeless like Bill Gates’ bank account. I can actually make decisions in the present that would bring me closer to the “future me” that I see in my mind’s eye.

The moment you realize that you have the ability to make decisions that can contribute to a higher quality of life in the future, you will find it easy to stick to your guns and do what it takes to get your desired goal.

Nobody was born walking or talking. Your initial attempts at walking and talking failed miserably. Yet, somehow, somewhere, you knew that you could do something about it and thankfully, you did. You are still reaping the benefits of the grit you had as a child.

Do the same now, with the expectations that you are going to see change

Quit Watching Porn

As I mentioned in “What Happens In An Addict’s Brain” when you masturbate and watch pornography, you are causing a lot of changes in the biology, physiology, and anatomy of your brain. These changes are associated with motivation and productivity. As a result, it is impossible to develop grit when you are engaged in porn consumption. This is one of the primary reasons I have put together this free 30-Day Freedom Challenge that would get you started on the path of freedom from destructive habits.

Finally…

It is very possible for you to increase the amount of “grittiness” you manifest when you are pursuing your desired goals.

You have to be wise with this, though, because you do not have to approach everything in your life with perseverance and passion that would make Tom Cruise red with embarrassment. There are sometimes you need to relax your stance on certain goals, which are not your ultimate destination, but merely a means to a greater end.

Use the techniques I share here and using them to increase your level of grit to attain your high-level goals that are in line with your identity.

Was this helpful? Do not forget to share this article with someone you know would need and appreciate this.

The Commonly Overlooked Secret To Success That No One Is Talking About

Back in 2016, I was just another post-NYSC university graduate in Bayelsa State, who was overworked and underpaid. In fact, my salary was so embarrassingly low, that I chose to inflate the tithe I was paying to my pastor. And to make matters even more interesting, my former boss is still owing me a month’s salary till this very day.

By the way, if you are worrying what the salary was…

It was ₦30,000!!! (That’s less than $100 a month, if you live outside Nigeria).

Right now, I am in the US, currently running my Masters program.

Now, I am not saying living outside the US is a sign of being successful…but it helps showcase my point much easily.

So, what happened? What changed? How did I go from earning ₦30,000 per month, to traveling out of the country to further my education in just a year?

It is simple.

I got a revelation of the principles of success!

There Are Principles Guiding The Secret Of Success

You see, there are certain laws that govern the way things happen on earth. I’m not talking about the laws of physics or chemistry.

No, I’m talking about the laws of life.

These laws have been established by God Himself such that their principles hold in the lives of any individual regardless of religious affiliation, age, sex or race.

An example of such law is the law of giving. Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever you do, once you give, you would always receive.

God is not the author of confusion. No! He is the God of Order. He loves Order and He sets up Principles to maintain that Order. That’s how God works!

Let me share one of the success principles that God opened my eyes to see on Facebook.

For those who know me, Emeka Nobis is one of the top Nigerian thought leaders that I respect so much. Ever since one of my friends introduced him to me (through Facebook), I have joined every Facebook group he created because I always want to pick up his brains and suck all the nutrients that are in his words! I have read, and reread all his books that I have, and I keep thinking in my heart, “God, what must I do to consistently churn sense out, like Emeka Nobis?”

Nevertheless, early this year (or, maybe it was late last year), Mr. Nobis did something that threw most of his online followers (me, included) off balance. He closed down a Facebook group that he had spent time, sweat, blood, (and, maybe money too) to cultivate to over 5,000 members!

I remember when I first saw his announcement about closing down the group. Like others, I was a doubting Thomas who thought it was a publicity stunt, or something. When people pressed him and he opened up concerning the reason for his actions, it was remarkably simple. He wanted to FOCUS ALL HIS EFFORTS ON ONE COURSE!

As it turned out, Emeka Nobis did not need the 5,000+ group to reach his specific goals. And as far as I know, his decision to drop that group has seen his ministry move closer to the permanent site!

My dear, that is the principle of success, that God revealed to me through Emeka Nobis – Focus!

Meet FOCUS – A Key Secret to Success

Someone once said that FOCUS is an acronym for “Follow One Course Until Successful”.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are focused on too many right things at the same time!

They want to be Mozart, Dangote, Schwarzenegger, Bill Gates and Oyedepo at the same time!

Back in the days, I used to think it was cool to be focused on so many things at the same time. Now, I know that is not true!

If you go through the path of trying your hands on everything you come across, you would find yourself living under the illusion of being an expert when in the real sense, you are not. You will be spread out too thin and you will not be spectacular in anything.

When I say Messi, you think of soccer.

When I say Zuckerberg, you think of Facebook.

Messi will never be able to manage a multi-billion dollar company, and Zuckerberg will never be able to dribble past opponents with a drop of the shoulder.

Each man is an expert in his field.

My dear friend, the moment I realized that “Man was not made to be spread out thin. Rather, he was created to have depth!”, that was when I saw the errors of my ways.

That was when I realized that I did not need another website or another “brand” in order to be who, or, where God wants me to be.

That was when I realized that I needed to make the same decision as my boss, Emeka Nobis.

That was when I realized that I did not need to start “theplatinumstudentmillionaire.com” and scatter my efforts and focus all over the place.

That was when I realized that I will be operating wholly from the platform that God had given me

Finding Your One Thing Is A Secret To Success

I am choosing to FOCUS ON MY ONE THING which is my main website called “You Too Can Be Free”. Originally, I created the website to cater for people who were battling with sexual addictions, however, right now, as you can tell, it is much more than that! And I feel happy and blessed to be operating from the “You Too Can Be Free” platform. This is totally unlike what I felt when I was running “The Platinum Student Millionaire”, and putting myself in a position of constantly stressing unnecessarily.

It is kind of embarrassing for me to put myself out there and admit that I was wrong, but I feel that I owe you this explanation because I want you to learn from my mistakes and lead a full life of fulfillment.

I repeat, Man was not made to be spread out thin. Rather, he was created to have depth!

Ask yourself, “Are you in an uncomfortable situation in your life right now where you are constantly stressing?”

It could be because you are suffering from a broken focus.

Today, you are in multi-level marketing, tomorrow, you are in Real Estate, the day after that, you are back to Bitcoin!

If that is you, the problem is not the platform you are using.

The problem is your broken focus – as you keep on planting one day, and uprooting your seeds the very next day, without even waiting to see whether your seed germinated or not!

If you want to succeed, you need to make a decision to Focus One Course Until Successful!

That is the most powerful success principle that can be given to you by someone who loves you!

Who Died And Made You God? [Hint: Your Opinions Do Not Matter]

Within the space of two weeks, two different people within my circle of influence were visibly shaken by other people’s opinions about them. One moment, we were talking and jesting, the very next moment, they were wrapped with so much doubt and uncertainty in themselves. What I found most appalling is the fact that nobody had been physically present to make them feel bad.

I can empathize since I was once a victim too.

I had always attached a large importance to what people thought about me. In fact, in a bid to maintain my “Nice Guy” persona, I went to great lengths to conform to other people’s expectations of me. Not only did this leave me in the quagmire of mediocrity, I was also constantly overwhelmed and frustrated, because I was spread out too thin, trying to “meet up with the standard”.

Right now, God has cultivated me to the point where I really could not give a rip about your opinions of me.

Remember this?

By the way, you can still get your copy!

Anyways, I may still have tendencies to be shy in a new environment, but I am secure in the love of the Father to know that He’s got me – any day, any time. Of course, by now, you should know that one of my favorite Scriptures I like to quote about this matter is John 12:3-5:

Jesus knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he was come from God, and went to God; He riseth from supper, and laid aside his garments; and took a towel, and girded himself. After that he poureth water into a bason, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.”

Are you like the way I used to be? Frustrated and overwhelmed with meeting up with the opinions of others? Pay attention to the following practical tips that may be helpful in helping you to a life of freedom and abundance – just as God wants it!

The Father, The Son And The…Donkey!

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I’m sure I’ve heard Ebenezer Obey sing a song about the story I am about to share. Ah! The good ol’ days…

But I digress.

So, there was this old man who had a son and a donkey. They were apparently going on a long journey and the father put the boy on the donkey, while he walked by the side. As they moved along, they passed some old women sitting in the shade. One of the women called out (I’m pretty sure she was a Yoruba woman), ”Ahhhhhh…..Shame on you, a fully fit boy, riding while your old father is walking. What is this world turning to? Ahhhh….the children of nowadays!”

The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right, so they swapped positions.

Later as they passed by a group of mothers watching their young children play by the river. One (Yoruba woman, of course!) cried out in protest, ” Ahhhhh….eh!!! Oooooooo!!! Ahnahn! Ahnhan! Ahnhan! Wat hapin na? How can you make your little boy walk under this terribly hot sun while you ride! Ahnhan…don’t you have any conscience?”

So, what did the duo do? They simply decided that maybe it would be in their best interest to walk.

Next, they met some young Warri men hanging out.

“Oboi! See craze o! You guys have a healthy donkey to ride on, and yet you’re both walking!” one of them shouted.

So, both the old man and his son climbed the donkey.

Then they met a group of Animal lovers….

Of course, one of them shouted, “You people are so mean! Imagine you were the donkey, how would you feel carrying two people on your back?”

The old man and the boy saw that there was clearly no way out of their ‘predicament’, so they struggled to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the really confused animal and it fell to its death in the river below!

This is pretty much the first lesson to be learnt: Irrespective of what you do, people would always talk about you!

If you do something, they would talk. If you refuse to do anything, they would still talk. It makes absolutely no difference if you do anything or not, because people would always find a way to still talk about whatever you do.

Funny enough, in my experience, I was able to find freedom to live above people’s opinions of me the moment I realized that opinions would still be formed – regardless of what I do. If that’s that’s the case, I might as well go ahead with what I feel God is leading me to do per time!

Nothing Has Meaning, Except The Meaning You Give To It

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Some days ago, I wrote the following on my Facebook wall:

“All human phenomena are absurd outside context. E.g, money: ‘Give me this Ferrari and I’ll give you a piece of paper with digits. Deal?’”

I was with a person who posted Christian content on his personal Facebook wall.

Now, that would not have really mattered, except when you consider the fact that this person is a highly-placed individual in a very secular community. So, naturally, some people started criticizing him for posting such content.

That really got to him.

I mean, it’s not like he shared some nudity or pornographic images on his Facebook timeline. He only shared a few encouraging lines from the Bible and he was being criticized for it?

If you look at the issue the way I have started seeing things, you’d realize that some things do not even make sense at all, except you decide to read meanings. Everyone accesses social media via their phones and laptops and if you are working yourself up because someone criticizes you on social media, in the ‘realest‘ sense, you are actually getting worked up with your phone! Whoever is criticizing you online is not in the same room with you, and there is no need for you to waste mental energy rehearsing your rebuttal in your mind. There is simply no time for that!

I remember a story I heard while growing up. Now, don’t quote me anywhere because I’m not sure whether it’s fact or fiction.

So, this witch went to a party and she was served jollof rice and fried rice – topped with chicken wings. She took offense and some days later, she started afflicting the family who organized the party. One way or the other, the witch was soon found out and she was asked why she decided to afflict the family.

Her response? Her rice was topped with chicken wings, instead of chicken thighs!

While some of you might laugh at the story I just shared, a lot of you reading this post are just the same way. In fact, so many would be offended if they went to a party and were served water, instead of juice or wine. They would forget that water is probably the healthiest liquid you can drink. Rather, they would think that they have just received the worst insult that any human could possibly endure!

And don’t even get me started with those who feel offended because someone handed something over to them with their left hand – instead of the right hand….

Receive Understanding To Tie It All Together

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You would not believe it (just kidding!), but God has an opinion.

He has an opinion about everything – and He has His opinion about you!

If there was ever an opinion you need to highly consider in your life – that opinion is God’s.

This is where Understanding comes in play.

You see, Understanding is a supernatural discernment and perception of reality from God’s point of view. In essence, it is perceiving and accepting God’s opinion about things, people and places per time.

The truth is that with Understanding, it is impossible for you to be confounded, depressed, confused or at a loss. Why? You have the benefit of a supernaturally elevated perception – one that is backed by the very breath of God. By understanding, you are tuned into the dynamics of the spirit and your comprehension of actions, events and intentions becomes razor-sharp.

To me, the most outstanding feature of understanding is that it is applicable to EVERY aspect of your life. That includes your physical well-being, career, social life, relationships, spiritual walk with God, emotional intelligence, financial health and so on.

Proverbs 8:9 says, ‘They are ALL plain to him that understandeth’

Understanding makes all things plain to an individual.

Understanding is all-encompassing.

When it’s in full manifestation in your life, you understand the ways and timings of God, you understand people, you understand things, and most importantly, you’d understand how God sees you.

He sees you as righteous.

He sees you as anointed.

He sees you as wise.

He sees you as forgiven.

God sees you as beloved!

The more you focus on God’s perspective of you, the more you can walk in the full awareness of God’s love – without anybody’s opinions holding you to ransom!

And if they try, you can look them squarely in the eyes and ask them, “Who Died And Made You God?!”