What would you do if you were distressed, discontented with your lot in life, and in debt?
To get to that point, you’d probably acted irrationally by ignoring sunk costs to keep dumping precious resources on projects that are doomed to fail.
You might have also failed to keep opportunity costs at the forefront of your mind, and as a result, you now find yourself regretting and imagining what might have been.
Perhaps, you’re now in debt because you have esteemed immediate gratification more than future rewards. Now you’re down and out.
You know poor decision-making habits got you to where you are.
Now’s the time to summon all your willpower and pull yourself out of the situation, because the only person to blame is you. Right?
Wrong. You’re Making the Fundamental Attribution Error
As humans, we are often guilty of grossly overplaying the power that our personalities have on many aspects of our lives.
Yet, when you think about it, you’d realize that in your day-to-day activities, your environment is arguably at least as important as your personality.
Your environment influences the kind of options you have for food. For instance, yams do not grow in the United States, and as a consequence, they do not eat pounded yam. Similarly, apples do not grow in Nigeria, making it impossible to eat apple pies over there.
The environment also plays a key role in the type of clothes you will wear, which will, in turn, affect your appearance. Take a moment and ponder on this: No matter how fanatic an individual is as a Christian, she will still put on a shawl if she happens to be in the deserts of the Middle East. Failure to do so will make her vulnerable to the dusty winds of that region.
When you reduce what one eats or wears to the barest concept, you’d find them for what they really are.
They are decisions that you make without actively thinking.
Why? Because the environment you are situated in determines the range of your choices.
My point is simple: If the environment can influence our decisions in the form of the food we eat, or the clothes we wear, why do we fail to see its impact on other aspects of our decision making?
It’s because we are all guilty of committing the Fundamental Attribution Error.
According to researchers, the fundamental attribution error is the tendency to underestimate environmental factors and overestimate the role of personality in determining all forms of behavior – including quality decision making.
And you see the result in our societies today:
People identify as depressed individuals, while totally ignoring the fact that they might be in a depressing physical or social environment.
There are discontented individuals and families all over the world who are neck-deep in debt but fail to see how the prevalent culture of materialism and immediate gratification has made them vulnerable to buying unnecessary things.
Your personality may affect the quality of your decisions, but your environment is the real game-changer. It will make or break you.
Reciprocal Determinism and Your Adullam Ring
Some might read all these and conclude that I’m advocating a total lack of personal responsibility since we are in an unwinnable war against the environment.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
God, in His infinite power and wisdom, knows how powerful the environment can be in influencing our decisions, habits, and behavior. And what’s more? He has given us the ability to deliberately design our environment in such a way that it would influence the quality of our decisions.
Somewhere along the line, as David’s embarked on his journey of destiny towards Israel kingship, he punctuated his trip with a retreat in a cave at a place called Adullam.
While there, certain men sought to associate themselves with the future king.
Their resume wasn’t stellar in any shape or form.
These men were in distress.
They were discontent with their lots in life.
They were in debt.
These men were in a terrible place in their lives, likely due to the quality of their individual choices up until that point.
But when you fast-forward a few years, the narrative had changed.
These men were no longer referred to as the distressed, the discontented, or the debtors. Rather, they were called David’s Mighty Men.
Bold. Strong. Valiant.
Imagine being trapped in a pit.
On a snowy day.
With a lion.
And still escaping victorious!
That’s just one tale from the remarkable accomplishments of these men.
But there is every chance that these stories would have been lost to posterity if these men had not made the initial decision to change their environments to Adullam.
These men formed their Adullam Ring with David and the sky became the beginning.
Let’s apply this concept to the quality of your decisions.
Do you really think you will be out of shape if the five closest people in your circle are fitness junkies?
Do you think it will be possible for you to continue drowning in debt because of an extravagant lifestyle if your Adullam Ring comprised of individuals who are masters at living within their means?
When your network is made up of people who value delayed gratification over instant fixes of dopamine, you will find yourself doing the same in a matter of time.
Sheer willpower and grit can take you far, but if you want to see the quality of your decision making multiplied ten-fold, you must design your social environment through an Adullam Ring.
The Simplest Way to Form Your Adullam Ring
Sometimes, I write an epic post that people deem as valuable and the next thing I know, I get a message from someone asking me to be their mentor.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
If you take this approach, it is very likely that you will not get a favorable response. Why? For those who truly understand, a true mentor-mentee relationship is an involved process that consumes the time, effort and resources of both parties for the desired results to be achieved. It’s not something done impulsively.
On the other hand, the Adullam Ring method will give you more traction in a faster period. Here’s how:
First, examine your current circle and identify people who have similar goals as you do. If you are finding it difficult to identify like-minded individuals, there is a good chance that your network needs to be broadened. You can do this by looking out for programs where you know you have a good chance of meeting like minds. Note that you do not need to look for gurus or top professionals for this purpose. All you need are 2 – 5 people who are headed in the same general direction as you are, and are either at your level of proficiency or a step or two ahead of you.
Next, reach out to these individuals and tell them what you are trying to achieve and how you feel you all could be a source of encouragement to each other. It is important to frame the request as a mutually beneficial relationship. Remember, this is not a mentorship, rather a platform for being a part of someone’s enabling social environment, even as they are part of your Adullam Ring.
Finally, have an accountability plan. Naturally, there are certain behaviors that are easier to get accountability than others. For instance, if your goal is to improve your fitness, a simple accountability system is simply to head into the gym at the same time with the group. Of course, if you want to save money, your accountability system will be slightly different. The goal of accountability is to promote what I consider the secret sauce for developing the habit of making quality decisions in the long-run. By incorporating accountability in your Adullam Ring, the decision-making power no longer lies with you, but the larger group. As a result, your decisions become outsourced to your environment, and you reap your desired outcomes.
In Conclusion…
The quality of your decision-making is often a reflection of where you choose to make your habitat. You already outsource the bulk of your decision-making to your environment. Why not take the next step and deliberately design your an enabling and empowering Adullam Ring that will improve your decision making, bring you closer to your desired results.