Early in the year, I made up my mind to eat healthier and lose the layers of fat that had been building on my tummy like highly motivated bricklayers racing to get a house completed before the rainy season.
So, when I decided to put together the You Too Can Be Free 30-Day Freedom Challenge at the beginning of the year, I was also an avid participant.
Was it fun?
It sure was. As much fun as walking down to the market, only to discover that you forgot your purse. That’s definitely a situation you want to avoid. Particularly if you had to walk for 5 kilometers down in the first place and have no food at home!
And in my case, the easy option would be to quit going to the gym and snuggle in my warm cozy bed instead. This thought always crossed my mind because there were times I needed to walk 15 minutes to the gym in subzero temperatures. By the way, I’m talking about subzero temperatures in Fahrenheit. In case you cannot visualize that, I would say it’s like having an ant walk through a deep freezer. There were times when I totally lost all forms of feelings in my hands as I walked down to the gym in the cold weather. Believe me, it was that serious!
Yet, I kept on going to the gym. Again and again. Day after day. Week after week.
So, what was my staying power?
What kept me going even when I did not feel like doing going for it and would rather lie in bed in my heated room like roasted corn, or grilled beef?
The answer is GRIT
Grit can be defined as the passion and perseverance you have to achieve long-term goals. The researchers (Angela Duckworth and her colleagues) that popularized the concept went to the United States Military Academy, popularly known as West Point, to find out what would happen to a group of 1200 cadets who were just admitted. The Academy subjected the new students to a grueling seven-week program where they had to work in the classroom and on the field for 17 hours, every single day. Naturally, many of the students dropped out of West Point within those first few weeks and researchers observed that the differentiating factor between the students that endured the grueling seven weeks, and those that dropped out could be attributed to grit.
Without grit, trying to kick-start another habit might just end up being an exercise in futility.
I get it, Grit is important. How can I get it?
Discover Your Identity
I remember when I started on my journey to a healthier body, I had a picture of my ideal body weight and stature in my mind. As far as I was concerned, the “future me” was the “real me”, and all I was trying to do in the present was to attain that “future me”. Once this aspect was settled, it became very easy to settle into the exercise routines that I knew that the “future me” would have engaged in.
The truth remains that you really do not have a grit problem, or perseverance and passion problem. You have an identity problem. Once you get your identity sorted out, your actions would naturally follow.
For instance, Daphna Oyserman and her colleagues discovered that students who saw themselves as having successful “future selves” working in large organizations and corporations were more likely to do well in their school work. The researchers also discovered that the converse was the case too. Students who did not see themselves working in large corporations (those who saw themselves as successful artists and musicians in the future) felt that they did not need school to succeed, and naturally, it reflected in their academic performance. We see the same play out in our day-to-day interactions. For instance, the Igbo people of Nigeria have embraced the identity of enterprise and commerce and, as a result, it is hard to find an Igbo man that does not have an affinity for buying and selling.
I share more about identity in “The Secret To Overcoming Temptations” and “The Power of The Subconscious Mind”
Cultivate A Liking For The Mundane
I have alluded to this earlier.
Working out is like listening to a badly told joke. It is so boring.
I do not get goose pimples when I am lifting the weights or jogging on the elliptical.
So, how do I keep going?
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, once remarked, ‘Whatever it is that you want to do, you’ll find out that if you’re not passionate about what it is you’re working on, you won’t be able to stick with it’.
True words. Except for the fact that there are mundane sides to the things we are passionate about.
The truth is that every individual who has manifested grit in their lives can point to some aspects of their routine that they do not like at all. Yet, because their interest is fixed on the bigger picture, they are able to stick with the mundane and attain their goals.
In numerous areas of my life, I have found that I need to develop an interest in the boring, but the essential stuff in order to get the best out of it. Do you think I was smiling all the way, as I spent time gathering my thoughts and researching for my first book “You Too Can Be Free”? The same goes for working out. It is boring, but each day that I work out brings me closer to the ideal “future me” that I continue to see in my mind’s eye. Everybody wants to be a Joshua, but they forget the boring 40 days that he spent on Mount Sinai, while God was talking to Moses (Exodus 24:13). Everybody wants to be a Joseph, but they forget that he spent 13 boring years in prison.
If you want to grow your grit, you need to embrace the mundane.
Start Depositing Into Your Power-Up Account
Many times, I believe there are numerous life lessons that can be gleaned from a video game.
In a game like Temple Run, once you accumulate enough coins, you are able to power-up and increase the range of moves that you can execute in the game. However, it would be virtually impossible to upgrade if you spent the better part of the game avoiding the coins.
One of the things that keep me going is the realization that I would not attain the buff “future me” body in the next 24 hours. However, there are intermediate milestones (see, another game term!) that I would have to attain before I get to my desired destination. And because I want to attain these intermediate goals too, I keep on persevering through the cold mornings and boring workouts.
When you possess a love for the process, you are bound to progress. When you resist the urge to be complacent, you continue to accumulate “Power-Up” coins that would ultimately be converted to the desired goal you wish to see.
Expect To See Change
The quality of your life in the present is associated with the quality of the decisions you made in the past. The good news is that the quality of your life in the future can be affected by the quality of your actions in the present. I do not know about you, but I think it is refreshing to know that I am not condemned to be fat and shapeless like Bill Gates’ bank account. I can actually make decisions in the present that would bring me closer to the “future me” that I see in my mind’s eye.
The moment you realize that you have the ability to make decisions that can contribute to a higher quality of life in the future, you will find it easy to stick to your guns and do what it takes to get your desired goal.
Nobody was born walking or talking. Your initial attempts at walking and talking failed miserably. Yet, somehow, somewhere, you knew that you could do something about it and thankfully, you did. You are still reaping the benefits of the grit you had as a child.
Do the same now, with the expectations that you are going to see change
Quit Watching Porn
As I mentioned in “What Happens In An Addict’s Brain” when you masturbate and watch pornography, you are causing a lot of changes in the biology, physiology, and anatomy of your brain. These changes are associated with motivation and productivity. As a result, it is impossible to develop grit when you are engaged in porn consumption. This is one of the primary reasons I have put together this free 30-Day Freedom Challenge that would get you started on the path of freedom from destructive habits.
Finally…
It is very possible for you to increase the amount of “grittiness” you manifest when you are pursuing your desired goals.
You have to be wise with this, though, because you do not have to approach everything in your life with perseverance and passion that would make Tom Cruise red with embarrassment. There are sometimes you need to relax your stance on certain goals, which are not your ultimate destination, but merely a means to a greater end.
Use the techniques I share here and using them to increase your level of grit to attain your high-level goals that are in line with your identity.
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